The Mystery of the Watcher
by ChigauBakemono
Summary: Merlin and Arthur are happily married. Merlin is pregnant with their child. A mysterious man has set his sights on Merlin and is determined to make him pay. He has an uncanny gift of forcing people to watch through his eyes. ...4 years later, the mystery man seeks Merlin out after a horrific incident. m/m mpreg Rated M to be careful. Nothing too explicit. Merlin/Arthur
1. Chapter 1

**This is my Merthur fic. Now I know the chapter isn't long and I swear not all the chapters will be this short. This is just the preview/first chapter. It's almost like a prologue. Now I have a poll going on. It's between merthur and destiel. Both fics have the first chapter, so I want you to choose which one I should focus more on. I love criticism, so good and bad review are welcome.**

"Seriously Merlin. I really think you should take it easy. I mean, your eight months pregnant and this is your first pregnancy. I just don't want anything to go wrong and right now, you are doing everything Gauis specifically told you not to do."

"And I think you shouldn't tell me what to do you prat! I hate doing nothing. I feel useless. Plus, it's only a council meeting. I've missed far too many for my liking. As Kings Consort and Court Sorcerer, I should be attending all the meetings. They also have those nice chairs I can sit on, so instead of laying in bed doing nothing, I can sit at the meeting and do nothing," Merlin huffed.

"But unlike everyone else in the meeting, they aren't going to be having a baby any day now," argued Arthur.

Seeing Merlin was going to continue on, Arthur stopped and grabbed Merlin' shoulders, turning him around to face himself.

"You know I love you and hate to see you upset or stressed, but this is just as much for you as it is for our little baby. Also, Gaius is the one who ordered it and I'm just following orders, so after this meeting you are going to nothing but lay around in bed and rest. OK," Arthur insisted.

"Fine," Merlin pouted before turning away, but not before Arthur had seen the small smile on his face and smiled himself.

"Oh how I love this idiot," he thought to himself.

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Don't forget to go to my profile and vote on which fic I should focus more on.**

 **...til next time**


	2. Chapter 2

**Next chapter. Yay! Sorry if it's still kind of short, but it should start to get longer. I'm still writing most of this out. The action and horrory stuff is going to happen in the next chapter. Thanks for the follows. 2 followers already. :) Makes me happy. I like reviews too. I like to know what's going on in the minds of my lovely readers.**

When they got to the council room, everyone was already seated and settled. Arthur slowly led Merlin over to his chair, to the left of Arthur' and helped him to be seated. Once Arthur himself sat down, the council began their ranting about trivial problems about the boring matters of the kingdom. Arthur knew Merlin got tired of hearing this, not that Arthur himself didn't either, but he tried to pay attention anyways. After an hour of talking and arguing, the council bid Arthur and Merlin a good day and proceeded to exit the room. When Arthur looked over at Merlin, all he could do was smile. Merlin' elbow was on the table, while his chin rested on his hand. Merlin had fallen asleep. Although Arthur didn't want to, he knew he had to wake Merlin up.

"Merlin. Merlin, my love. You have to wake up," Arthur quietly said, while slightly nudging Merlin awake.

"Don..wa..na," Merlin slurred.

"The council has already left and I need to get you back to our room before Gaius finds out we disobeyed his orders. You can sleep some more there."

Merlin seemed to snap awake at once after hearing he'd slept through the meeting.

"What! The meetings over? I slept through it all! That's so embarrassing. Did I miss anything important?" Merlin rushed in a panic.

"Whoa there. Slow down. Everything's fine. I don't think anybody noticed and even if they did, they would understand why. And no, you didn't miss anything important. It was the same boring stuff they argue about each week. You managed to escape it while I, on the other hand, was not so fortunate," Arthur joked.

Merlin just smiled sheepishly in response.

Arthur stood from his chair and proceeded to help Merlin up.

"Alright my love. Let's get you to bed."

"But I'm not tired," Merlin weakly protested.

A yawn escaped his mouth and Arthur smiled.

"I'm sure your not, but you promised me that if you got to go to the meeting, you'd go back to our room to rest. You don't want me to send Gaius after you do you."

"Fine," Merlin mumbled.

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Don't forget to vote on my poll. It's at the top of my profile.**

 **...til next time**


	3. Chapter 3

**Finally here is chapter 3! Hope you like! Thanks for all the follows and favs. I honestly didn't think you guys would like this as much as you did, but I'm grateful. I hope I didn't muck it up with this chapter. This is the actioney/horror part. It does involve torture, but not too extensive cause I'm not the best at torture scenes yet. I honestly tried, but this is as good as it gets. It's also much longer for you guys, just like I promised. :)**

 **I'm also sorry for this being so unspaced. I can't seem to figure out how to space it in paragraphs and such like I want it when I upload. I'm trying but it really doesn't like me. :(**

 **Anyways, don't be afraid to review, especially on this chapter, cause I really wanna know what you thought of it and if I did it justice.**

As Arthur and Merlin were walking back towards their chambers, Merlin suddenly started to feel dizzy. He couldn't explain why he felt this way, until he suddenly started to lose his awareness of his surroundings. Suddenly it was like he wasn't in Camelot anymore. It looked a little like his mums place in Ealdor. When he tried to move, he realized he couldn't. It was like he was in a different body. No sound came out of his mouth either. Merlin was starting to get scared now. He thought it might be a spell, but when he tried to access his magic, it was like it was locked behind a door. He could feel it, but just couldn't reach it.

Suddenly a voice sounded in his head.

"Hello Emrys. I've heard so much about you and I thought that I should finally get to meet you. I have a present for you that I think you'll enjoy. Well, maybe not you, but I know I'll enjoy it. I don't know if you've recognized your surroundings yet, but if you haven't, let me tell you where we are. It's Ealdor. Now, if I'm correct, which I am, I believe you have a mother who lives here. Hunith right? I also believe this is her house isn't it?"

Merlin all the while kept screaming at the man to stop whatever he was going to do. Merlin could tell this man was evil and that no good could come from having him in Ealdor as he seemed to know a little too much about Merlin. Merlin desperately tried to call his magic, but he just couldn't access it, which in return was causing him to have an internal meltdown. He wasn't sure if the man could hear him or not, but somehow he thought he might. Merlin just kept praying to every god out there to leave his mum alone and leave her out of whatever this was.

Meanwhile with the mystery man, he was enjoying feeling Emrys' fear and anger. It was exhilarating being able to reduce the 'Great Emrys' to this pathetic, begging mess, but he had a job to do and so he had to focus on that at the moment as the spell he was using to keep Emrys connected was very draining on him.

"Now now Emrys. You need to control that temper of yours and watch your language. Threatening me won't help you or your mother. Begging won't either. Although the one who will be begging in a minute will be poor mother dearest. Let the show begin!" the man laughed maniacally.

All Merlin could do was watch in horror as the man stepped into his mothers house unannounced and ambushed the poor woman.

Merlin watched as Hunith looked up in surprise as the man approached her.

"Oh, hello. I'm sorry I didn't here you knock. You gave me a bit of a scare," Merlin watched his mother say.

"That's quite alright. I was here to find you anyways," the man said and lunged at Hunith.

All Merlin could do was watch his mothers face morph to shock as the man grabbed his mother and roughly threw her on the floor. Hunith let out a little cry of pain.

"Wh-who are you? And what do you want with me?" Hunith stuttered.

"Well, you see," the man began. "It's not really you I want. You are merely are a tool as a means to an end to me. You are for me to play with, so I can teach a certain someone a lesson. Oh and I want you to say hello to your precious son for me."

Hunith looked at the man in confusion and fear for her son.

"What do you mean? How is Merlin here? What did you do to my baby boy!" she screamed, as she lunged at the man.

The man quickly side-stepped and threw a punch at Hunith' face. Hunith crumpled to the floor in a heap.

"Now now. Your a feisty one aren't ya. This will make this all the more fun!" the man smiled mischievously, kicking her in the ribs. "Now about your son. You see he's not here physically, but his mind is here and he is seeing through my eyes at this very moment. Everything that happens right here and now, he can see and hear. I'm just putting on a show for Emrys. Now do you have any last words for your baby boy before you die a slow painful death?"

Merlin watched as his mother started to cry in defeat and wished he could do something to help her, but he was helpless to do anything. Merlin was pulled out of his self-pity by his mothers voice talking to him.

"Merlin, my baby. Don't you dare blame yourself for this. This is not your fault. I love you so much. Just remember that even after I'm gone, I'll always be with you. You have Arthur and all your friends there to support you. Don't shut them out! You will be fine. I know you'll miss me, but please don't dwell on my death. I wish you didn't have to watch this, but there is nothing you, nor I, can do to change this. Say hello to my grandchild for me and remember to tell him/her all about their Aunty Hunith and how much she loved them"

Merlin watched as his mother continued to cry. He wished there was something he could do to keep her with him, but his magic wasn't working. Merlin' heart broke at her words and inside he was crying and screaming his heart out to the man to not do this. To punish him, but not his mother, but the man was ignoring him.

"That was very touching and all, but now I have work to do. You've said your goodbyes and now I get to have my fun!" the man said gleefully.

Merlin watched as the man produced a knife and walked toward his mother. He watched as the knife came down and ripped into his mothers thigh. Blood came gushing out as well as a scream from Hunith.

Merlin could tell the man was enjoying every slice and gash he made on his mother. Next he sliced her arm and then her cheek, all the while his mother kept screaming like a banshee. It seemed to be music to the mans ears. He continued to slice and dice his mother, until he decided to stop.

Merlin could tell the man was bored of slicing into his mothers skin.

The man grew bored of playing with the knife and decided to look around for a new tool. He noticed a mallet was sitting on the side and walked over to grab it. When he turned around he saw Hunith slowly trying to crawl her way towards the door, leaving a wide trail of blood as she dragged her body. Smiling, he approached her, mallet in hand.

"And where do you think your going. We haven't even started."

Hunith stopped crawling and looked up with terrified eyes at her assailant.

"Please. Please don't. If your going to kill me, please just kill me now." she begged.

The man just laughed. "I don't think so."

The man raised the mallet and brought it down onto he left leg. There was a distinct SNAP followed by a bloodcurdling scream.

"Get ready for the show to begin Emrys."

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Also, sorry for the weird updates. I haven't marked any days on when I'll update but I wanna make it no longer than a week before the next update. Although this story is giving me trouble with writing it. I have the whole thing planned out, but it's getting it written out and making it sound good that's hard. I've been busy though with work and preparing for college, so who knows...**

 **Vote in my poll. It's still up and going on my profile.**

 **...til next time**


	4. Chapter 4

**I am soo sorry it took me this long to update. I have been sooo busy with my two jobs and haven't had any time to just sit down and write. Again, so sorry. I will keep trying to update as frequently as I can, but work it really taking my time away from me. :( Also inspiration. I had a lot of trouble writing this scene out. I saw it play out in my head, but had trouble writing it how I wanted it. This is what I got, so enjoy. If you didn't, honestly, just write a review. I like to know what you guys think. I love all the follows and favs I've been getting. It's really boosting me and pushing me to write! As well as reviews!**

 **So this will be from Arthur point of view from what happens while Merlin sees all the shit he's going though. It does switch a bit near the end into a bit of Merlin's and Gaius' POV as well, but that's literally how I write. I can never just stay in one point of view. I jump a lot. It's so bad of me, but it's hard to make it flow any other way. This chapter is also extra long for you guys cause I couldn't decide where to stop it. :p**

 **I also wish this stupid thing would paragraph things the way I want, cause now this things so bunched up and I don't like it. It's hard to read the pauses and perspectives as well as subject switches. Sorry if this hurts your eyes reading. Blame fanfiction.**

As Arthur was walking Merlin down the corridors to their chambers, Merlin suddenly seemed to lose his balance. Arthur reached out to steady him and ask if he was alright when Merlin just stood straight and stopped moving altogether. He was just standing there, with a blank look on his face. When Arthur took a closer look, it was like Merlin was looking, yet not really seeing where he was.

"Merlin. Merlin! MERLIN!" Arthur screamed, shaking Merlin frantically.

It seemed that no matter what Arthur did, he just couldn't bring Merlin back to reality. He was about to call for some guards when he noticed Merlin' face start to twitch. It looked like he was confused, which slowly morphed into a horrified look. Arthur wished he knew what was going on, so he could wipe that look off his face. He just felt so helpless.

Merlin' eyes suddenly caught Arthur' attention. To him, it looked like he was trying and failing to use his magic. Arthur could see a faint gold ring start to show, only for it to die out.

Now Arthur was getting very worried. He could tell Merlin was too because if Merlin was trying to access his magic, it meant he was in trouble, and if he was in trouble, that meant there was nothing either of them could do, but ride out whatever this was and hope for the best.

Arthur' hopes were squashed when Merlin collapsed, screaming like a banshee. Arthur' eyes widened and he caught Merlin, immediately tried to calm his husband down. With him this late in his pregnancy, the stress was definitely not good for him or the baby. No matter what Arthur did though, there was nothing he could do to stop Merlin' screaming. All he could do was watch in horror as his husband screamed and cried to whatever he was seeing. It tore at Arthur' heart and it finally gave him a push in the right direction to finally call for Gaius. Things had finally gotten out of hand and he definitely needed help. He was surprised that none of the servants or guards had come to their location with all the noise he and Merlin were making.

"Guards! Guards!" Arthur finally hollered as he held onto Merlin trying to calm him down.

After waiting, what seemed like an eternity to Arthur, two guards finally rushed down the hall to his yells.

All they did was take one look at the scene, as well as hear Merlin' cries and Arthur' desperate expression and they were off running in the other direction to get their court physician.

Finally Merlin' screams died down to pitiful whimpers and Arthur could only hope that it was the end of whatever Merlin was pulled into. Just as Arthur noticed Merlin seem to be calming down, he saw Gaius run around the corner, looking to be out of breath, followed by Gwen and Lancelot. One look at Arthur' face was all they needed to see to know it was serious.

Gaius knelt down next to them and asked Arthur what had happened. Just as Arthur was about to say something Merlin jerked in his arms and wailed. Caught by surprise Arthur had just enough time to cuddle Merlin closer to himself before he tried to push off like he was trying to get away form something. Or get to something. It kept shattering Arthur' heart into pieces. Arthur was fully aware tears were streaming down his face as Gaius continued to try to ask him what had happened, while he tried to calm Merlin down.

Arthur returned to himself when he felt a sharp stinging sensation on his left cheek. He pulled himself from his stupor and looked at Gaius in disbelief. He had his hand still raised from where he had slapped Arthur. Even Gwen and Lancelot looked shocked by Gaius' actions.

When Gaius noticed the hurt expression on Arthur' face, he knew he had to rectify the situation.

"I'm sorry sire, but I need you to answer my questions and you weren't responding to me. I figured only something physical would bring you back to reality. Now, I'm going to ask you again, what happened?"

Arthur blinked a couple times, before he said, "I-I don't know. We were walking down the hall, when he suddenly started to sway. I thought he was going to fall, so I reach forward to grab him but before I could even touch him, he just straightened himself out. He-he just stood there Gaius. It was like he wasn't even here. His eyes were blank and he wasn't responding to me. I kept screaming his name and shaking him, but he just wasn't responding. I didn't know what to do, so I was going to find you, when he just suddenly collapsed and was screaming like he was being tortured. I couldn't do anything. I tried to comfort him and calm him down, but he just kept screaming. I-I didn't know what to do," Arthur cried as he looked to Gaius. "I'm scared Gaius. I don't know what's wrong and there's nothing I can do to help him. Look at him. I thought he was done whatever he was going through, but he's still screaming and crying. What's wrong with him Gaius?"

Arthur was looking for Gaius to answer, but he didn't. He just kept staring at Merlin. Arthur noticed even Gaius looked a little scared and worried for Merlin. Arthur knew that deep down, even Gaius didn't have the answer to this problem and only time would tell if Merlin would come back to himself.

An hour had passed and Arthur began to doubt Merlin would stop screaming when Merlin abruptly slumped down in his arms. He watched as Merlin' eyes rolled back in his head. Everyone stared in shock as Merlin fell unconscious.

Gaius was the first to react of course and quickly reached out and lifted Merlin' eyelids, checking for dilation and such. Then he moved on and searched Merlin for any physical damage. When he found none, he didn't know what to think. Never had he seen such weird and unknown symptoms before. He wasn't sure if he could do anything to help the boy he though of as a son to him.

Arthur saw Gwen was in tears and Lancelot too looked as if he might cry as well. Nobody knew what was wrong or how to fix it. Just as Arthur was giving up hope, Merlin groaned.

Arthur was so relieved the first thing he did was kiss his husband.

"Merlin, Merlin my love. Wake up please. I need you to open your eyes for me," Arthur whispered

Merlin just groaned again. Eventually he opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Arthur looking down at him with tears in his eyes. At first he couldn't figure out why Arthur was crying. Arthur NEVER cried. Not even when his father had died, until he realized he was sprawled in Arthur' lap on the floor of the castle hallway.

"Wat h-apnd?' Merlin slurred.

Arthur looked down worriedly at Merlin.

"You don't remember? I was hoping you could tell me what happened. You just collapsed and started screaming. I couldn't calm you down."

"I did?"

Arthur nodded his head.

Merlin scrunched up his face in confusion and tried to remember. Suddenly everything came crashing back at once and he remembered everything.

Arthur noticed Merlin scrunch his face up trying to remember when Merlin looked wide-eyed and started to wail. He clung to Arthur desperately.

Gaius, Gwen and Lancelot all looked worriedly at each other. Arthur too, was worried as to what would cause this reaction.

"Merlin. Can you tell me what happened? Did you see something? I want to know how to help you, but I can't if you won't talk to me. Think about the baby. All this stress isn't good for it."

All Merlin did was shake his head in response and cry some more.

Everyone looked at Merlin with looks of pity and anger. Anger towards whatever had reduced their lovable, happy-go-lucky Merlin, into this sobbing mess.

As Arthur was about to pick Merlin up and carry him back to their room, Merlin grabbed onto Arthur' arm, hard! He grabbed Arthur so hard, he could feel Merlin' nailed biting into his flesh. Merlin let out a pained howl.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked, panicking.

"Mmmmhh," Merlin mumbled back in response.

Arthur noticed Merlin' arm wrapped around his stomach.

"Is it the baby? What's wrong? You have to talk to me Merlin."

` "Baby. Baby coming," Merlin cried out in response to another labour pain.

Gaius was up first and said, "Arthur, we need to get him to you chambers, NOW!"

Arthur nodded and scooped Merlin up into his arms and began to run down the corridors to their chamber.

"Hold on Merlin. Were almost there. Just keep him in til were there."

"How...How do you know it's a boy. It could be a girl," Merlin said, pain laced in his voice.

Arthur laughed out loud. It seemed his Merlin was coming back to himself.

"Because I know. It's definitely a boy. My heir. And he's going to be raised by his two wonderful parents," Arthur said.

"But what if your wrong and it's a girl?"

"Then I'll love her all the same. She'll still have her two wonderful fathers to raise and love her. Spoil her even," Arthur smiled.

At this, Merlin smiled back, even though he was drowning on the inside. Only Arthur could cheer him up, when he was at his lowest. He knew once the baby was born, he was going to have to talk about what had happened, but until then he just had to control his breathing, so he could get through the pain!

As Arthur reached their chambers, he rushed Merlin to the bed and laid him down. He made sure to prop the pillows up so Merlin could lie back comfortably.

"Just hold on a bit more, my love. Gaius will be here soon."

Almost as soon as Arthur said that, Gaius burst through the door, with Gwen and another servant in tow holding blankets, needles, water and all that would be need for the pregnancy.

"Everyone out," Gaius exclaimed. "That includes you Arthur."

Arthur looked pained for a moment.

"Can't I stay Gaius. I don't want to leave him."

"No Arthur. You would only be in the way. Now out with you," Gaius shewed.

Just as Arthur reluctantly made his way towards the door where Gwaine and the rest of the Knights of the Round Table were standing he heard Merlin speak,

"Please don't go. Can't he stay. I need Arthur to stay," Merlin begged.

Taking pity on the boy, Gaius agreed Arthur could stay but was to only support Merlin and that was all. If he got in the way, he was out whether Merlin liked it or not.

Arthur was eagerly nodding his head, while he made his way toward Merlin and sat behind him. He moved Merlin, so he was sitting in between his legs. Merlin gladly leaned back and squeezed Arthur' hand.

"I love you so much you know. I don't know what I'd do without you," Arthur told Merlin.

"Love you to," Merlin replied.

After hours of Merlin screaming and breaking Arthur' hand, the baby finally arrived.

Gaius handed the child off to Gwen to be washed and bundled, while Merlin was trying hard to stay conscious.

"You did it," Arthur said. "Were finally parents!"

All Merlin could do was smile in response and wait for Gaius to hand him his baby.

Gaius returned with the babe swindled in blankets and announced to the couple.

"It's a girl!"

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am soooo sorry that I am very late in updating. I swear I'm not dead or giving up on this. Work had been keeping me so busy and giving me no time to just sit and write. I'm really getting into this now and I'm excited to where it's heading. I have most of it planned out. The matter here is sitting down and actually typing it all out. I'll try not to leave it so long, but no promises. Things are going to get interesting next chapter. This is just a build up.**

 **Let me know if you guys want any one-shots done. I could do some of maybe preggers Merlin or something if you wanted. I didn't really get to delve into what pregnant Merlin and Arthur were like dealing with the pregnancy and Merlin' mood swings and such. lol. just let me know. I love your reviews. They literally make my day. I'm so blown away as to all the follows and favs! Thanks guys! :)**

 _...4 years later_

"Kalia! You better get back here young lady or...or you'll be sorry!" Arthur threatened, chasing after his hyperactive daughter.

Kalia' response was a giggle, followed by a, "You'll never catch me!"

 _..._

It had been 4 wonderful years since Merlin had given birth to his and Arthur' beautiful daughter named Kalia. It was very peaceful, with only a slight bit of disturbance here and there, yet it was nothing Arthur nor Merlin couldn't handle.

After Merlin had given birth to Kalia, Gaius, Gwen and the Knights had all tried to get Merlin to open up to them about what had happened during his strange episode in the castle hallway, but he had remained tight-lipped about his ordeal. He refused to talk about it with anyone but Arthur and even then, Merlin was very skimpy on the details. The only thing he had revealed was that it was a sorcerer and that a murder had taken place. He wouldn't say who had been murdered or even what he knew about the sorcerer. All Merlin said was that the sorcerer had some very dark magic that stopped Merlin from reaching his own, ultimately leaving him helpless. In Arthur' mind this was a win. It was a small step forward to helping Merlin recover from the incident. Arthur also felt privileged that Merlin would share this information, as small as it was, with him and him alone. It showed how much Merlin trusted Arthur.

A few days after Kalia was born and Merlin was fit to move around, Merlin had gone to the stables and saddled a horse for himself. Arthur remembered the fear and panic he had when he found their room empty and had searched the castle everywhere for Merlin. When he found Merlin leaving the stables on a horse, he was more than shocked. He had tried to persuade Merlin not to go or to at least let Arthur accompany him to wherever he was going, but Merlin refused. He said this was something he had to do alone. When Arthur offered the Knights or even Gwen to come with, he flat out refused. Arthur had let out a sigh, but had finally given in. He knew there was no changing Merlin' mind and if he forbade Merlin from going, Merlin would have found a way to go anyhow. Arthur thought of following Merlin anyways, considering how his mental state was and with it being so soon after giving birth, but he knew he needed to trust Merlin, so he let him be and waited Merlin' return.

It was a couple days later that Merlin returned and he seemed, to Arthur, to be in better spirits. Although Arthur noted that Merlin' eyes were red and puffy when he returned, he also seemed to act a little more like his Merliny self. He smiled in his goofy way and greeted those who he passed. Altogether Arthur' lovable, happy-go-lucky husband was back. Or at least on the road to recovery. It gave Arthur the hope he needed that Merlin would be just fine.

Everything was peaceful after that day. The only thing that bothered Arthur were the nightmares Merlin kept having every night. Merlin would constantly wake up screaming or crying most nights and refused to tell Arthur what he saw or what had happened in them. All Merlin would ask for, was for Arthur to hold him and Arthur did just that. Finally after a year, Merlin stopped having nightmares. Of course this just led to Merlin being happier and spending even more time with his and Arthur' daughter as much as possible. Merlin had really warmed up to 'motherhood' or fatherhood as you could call it. Arthur constantly found Merlin with Kalia whenever Merlin went missing. It also helped that Kalia also had magic and that made Merlin' parenting all the more interesting. Arthur thought everything was going great and that they had finally put the past in the past.

 _..._

Arthur continued to chase Kalia through the courtyard yelling harmless threats at his daughter. He had only asked her to take a bath! Usually she doesn't put up a fuss, but today wasn't one of those days. Arthur wished he had Merlin to help him, but he was busy in the throne room, dealing with matters of the kingdom that Arthur himself was supposed to present at, but today was Arthur' day to bathe Kalia. Kalia seemed more prone to listen to Merlin than anyone else, so Arthur sometimes had trouble getting her to do what he wanted. Arthur was sometimes a little jealous at how well Merlin was at dealing with their daughter, but it could have been that Merlin was better at patience than he was or that he also spent a little more time with her than Arthur did.

Arthur wasn't sure who drew the short stick here though. Merlin, who had to listen to their subjects rant about boring matters or Arthur who had to chase his mischievous 4 year old daughter, just to get her to take a bath.

Either way, it still took Arthur an hour to grab Kalia and to get her all bathed and ready for Gwen to take her for the day. Gwen was a great babysitter for Merlin and Arthur and they were forever grateful to her. Guinevere herself was pregnant with Lancelot' baby. She was only 5 months along, so to her it was just practice for her own child.

Just as Arthur pulled Kalia' dress on, Gwen walked into the room. She took one look at Arthur and sighed.

"Did she run from you again?"

Arthur just sputtered. "It's not my fault she refused to take a bath and made me chase her throughout the whole courtyard. She unfortunately inherited Merlin' stubbornness as well as his need to start trouble."

Gwen just laughed. "Alright sweety. It's time to have some fun with your Aunty Gwen, while Arthur finally relieves your Papa of his boredom in the throne room."

"Yay! Will Uncle Lance be with us?"

"He won't be with us until later. He's on a patrol right now," Gwen told Kalia.

Kalia pouted but perked up immediately. "Alright. Let's go! I wanna play something!"

Gwen just giggled and took Kalia' hand.

"Have fun Arthur. I hope you and Merlin don't work to hard on your break," Gwen said impishly, winking at Arthur before leaving the room.

Arthur just sputtered before collecting himself and exiting his chambers.

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello, my lovely readers! Another chapter and I didn't wait as long. I've been debating it and finally just sat down and wrote. I wasn't sure how I was going to do this scene but I feel it turned out alright. Tell me what you think? It's a bit angsty this chapter, but I feel like I still didn't quite get it the way I wanted. Oh well. Love getting those reviews. I'm glad your all liking it! :)**

Arthur walked through the guards to open the doors to the throne room. When he walked in, he noticed Merlin had just finished with another visitor. To anyone else it looked like he truly cared about everyone's petty problems, but Arthur was good enough at reading Merlin, that he could tell Merlin was definitely bored. Arthur waited until the woman had left the room before announcing himself.

"One would think your actually enjoying yourself _Merlin._ "

Merlin started and faced Arthur. A grin broke out on his face.

"Well, I wouldn't be stuck here alone if you could manage to get our daughter into the bath instead of chasing her throughout the whole castle. I mean, its not that hard, you prat!"

"Well I'm sorry I don't have magic to help me wrangle her in. I mean it's seriously easier to catch a runaway horse than it is to catch her."

Merlin just shook his head at Arthur.

"Well it looks like your in luck. We have one more person to go, then we are done. Although it would have been nice if you had also suffered through the 47 other problems of your kingdom," Merlin joked.

"Don't you mean, 'our' kingdom. You are its ruler too, but if you only have the one left, I guess I can just go..."

"No! I-I mean, stay. Your already here. No point in leaving now," Merlin replied sheepishly.

Arthur just grinned and sat down next to Merlin.

"Better," Arthur teased.

Merlin just smiled and nodded his head.

"You may let the last one in!" Arthur called to the guards.

As the doors opened, Arthur noticed a change in Merlin right away. Merlin didn't outwardly show it, but Arthur saw the way Merlin tensed up and noticed the clenched teeth as well as the anxious look in his eyes. Merlin' sole focus was on the man, which Arthur could now see coming up to kneel before his kings.

"My lords," the man said.

Arthur felt a chill go down his spine. When the man had first walked in, Arthur could see nothing wrong with this man, but after he spoke, Arthur definitely had his guard up. There was just something about the way he said 'my lords', that set Arthur' nerves on edge. It was also the way the mans gaze lingered briefly on Merlin. There was something in his eyes that he didn't like when he looked at his husband. Something that looked briefly like satisfaction. Satisfaction for what, Arthur didn't know.

"What seems to have brought you before your kings today?" Arthur asked.

The man stood up and said, "Well you see, my lords, I have a bit of a job that needs finishing. Its been a while since I started it and I was hoping I could get some help from Camelot. More specifically from Lord Merlin, my lord."

Arthur was getting more suspicious by the minute and it seemed that Merlin was too. When Arthur looked over at Merlin, his faced was a bit scrunched up, like he was trying to figure out a puzzle, but just couldn't get the pieces to connect.

"And your name might be sir?" Arthur asked.

"Oh I'm sorry. My name is Ward, my lord."

"And what would you need my help specifically for?" Merlin asked.

"Oh, don't you remember. It was about 4 years ago."

Arthur was more than perplexed by the situation. It seemed Merlin was too.

"I don't know what you..." Merlin trailed off.

Arthur watched as Merlin suddenly went still. His faced had paled, relaying his terror and anger at the words the man said. Or at least that's how Arthur interpreted it.

Suddenly Merlin stood and screamed at Ward, "How dare you show your face here! After what you did! **Acwol** **e** **n**!"

Arthur watched as Merlin threw a spell at Ward. To his surprise Ward laughed and shielded himself with ease. Arthur knew he had to do something or someone was going to end up dead. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew Merlin doesn't just randomly try to kill people without a reason. Arthur pulled Excalibur and prepared himself to intervene.

All Merlin could think about was killing the man in front of him. He knew he had felt something familiar about Ward when he had first walked in, that had sent his magic on the offensive. Even the way he spoke, triggered something in Merlin and he just wasn't sure what until he mentioned 4 years ago. Merlin had never in his life, felt such a strong need to kill someone before and it kind of scared him. When he threw the killing spell at Ward, he didn't expect him to create a shield. Merlin knew he had unusual magic, but he didn't think Ward could wield anything beyond his power to make his victims see threw his eyes. His focus was brought back by Arthur unsheathing Excalibur and Ward' voice.

"Now, now Merlin. Is this anyway to treat an old acquaintance?" he mocked.

"Don't you dare! You know what you did and I will kill you for it!"

Ward just laughed again. "We were just having some fun. Don't be so dramatic, Emrys."

Of course this is when Arthur decided to throw his two cents worth in.

"Merlin, who is this man, and how do you know him? I can already assume he is someone bad, but I need to know now if I need to call for backup or not."

Merlin turned towards Arthur. "I'm sorry Arthur. This is between me and him. Don't intervene please. I will tell you about it later, in detail, but right now, this is my fight."

Arthur was a little shocked that Merlin had spoken to him like that. Usually Merlin would make sure Arthur was safe and then they would work together, but right now, it was like the Merlin he knew had vanished and instead left a broken, revenge driven man.

Merlin had turned his attention back to Ward. "I highly suggest you leave now, or I will kill you. And I can promise you it will be long and painful, just like what you did to her."

"Oh, Hunith. Your still upset about that? I thought you would be over that by now. I was just teaching you a lesson. Putting on a show if you may. But today, I'm here for you. You see I wasn't done with you yet Emrys," the man sneered. "You see, you and your husband here, killed off everyone of my kind and now, I'm going to kill two birds with one stone. I'm going to make you pay, Emrys, which in turn will hurt poor King Arthur over here as well. I will get my revenge on the two of you."

"I won't let that happen!" Arthur growled.

"There's nothing you can do to stop me, my King," Ward scoffed.

"Wanna bet," Arthur challenged as he ran towards the man swinging his sword.

Ward was a little surprised by the attack, but side-stepped it efficiently. Arthur' sword sliced through the air, missing Ward, by mere inches.

"Touchy, touchy today are we, my lord." Ward taunted.

"Argh!" Arthur yelled as he once again swung at Ward.

This time instead of Ward moving, he just conjured a shield. Excalibur didn't bounce harmlessly off as Ward originally thought. It smashed down, leaving millions of cracks along it, yet it didn't break through. Ward was now a little wary of the sword, not expecting it to almost demolish his shield.

Merlin meanwhile just smirked and charged forward, hand outstretched, taking advantage of Ward' distraction. " **Bansealf!"** he shouted.

Ward had just let his shields down forgetting about Merlin for the moment when a searing pain erupted from within.

Arthur watched in horror as Ward fell to the floor writhing, as his agonized screams echoed around the room. Arthur looked up and saw Merlin' eyes were a bright molten gold. Merlin was causing the torture on the man before him. Arthur knew the man probably deserved it, but it still scared him that it was Merlin behind the torture, when he normally looked down on it.

After a few minutes of the mans screaming, begging Emrys to stop, Ward suddenly stopped moving altogether and lied still on the floor. Even as he lay still, his body still spasmed, as Merlin' eyes stayed gold.

"Merlin. Merlin, you can stop my love. He's had enough," Arthur hushed as he walked closer to his husband.

As he got closer he could see Merlin was shaking. There were also tears streaming down his face.

"It's alright. Let go. Release him. He can't harm us anymore."

Merlin finally turned toward Arthur, his eyes finally returned to their beautiful blue and he grabbed onto Arthur like he was the last thing keeping him together, and sobbed his heart out. Arthur just stood there and held him, knowing his husband needed the comfort.

After a few minutes of Arthur holding Merlin, Merlin had stopped crying and Arthur could hear him trying to even out his breathing.

Merlin broke the silence by whispering, "I'm sorry."

Arthur looked down at Merlin, confused. "Whatever for?"

"For what I did a few minutes ago. It wasn't me and I don't know what overcame me. I've never acted like that before. The worst part is, I don't even regret it. I'd do it again, only worse if I could. I never wanted you to see me like that. I saw the fear in your eyes, so don't even deny it."

"I wasn't afraid of you. I was afraid of what this man, Ward, turned you into. I don't know what happened exactly between you two, but I can guess on some things. When you told me about the sorcerer 4 years ago and that he killed someone, this was the sorcerer wasn't it? The murder that took place was your mother wasn't it? It's why you've been avoiding me when I ask when you'll invite her over to see our daughter, her granddaughter."

All Merlin did was nod his head.

"I'm so sorry Merlin. I wish I had known."

"Don't blame yourself. I chose not to tell you. You couldn't have known," Merlin reasoned.

"When you rode out a couple days after Kalia' birth, you went to Ealdor to see her, didn't you?" Arthur asked.

"Yes. I needed to see for myself that she was actually dead."

Arthur had nothing more to say to Merlin, so he called for the guards instead. "Guards! Come here!"

Unfortunately it was Gwaine and Percival who stood outside the door, so it was them who burst through the doors at Arthur' shout.

One look at the scene and Gwaine was the first to speak. "My god! What happened here? Is Merlin ok? He doesn't look ok. Should I get Gaius?"

"No Gwaine! What I need you to do is sent this filth to the dungeons and lock him up in iron. I don't want him escaping," Arthur commanded, glaring at his knights in a 'Not now' tone.

"Yes sire," both Percival and Gwaine replied, getting the message Arthur sent them.

Just as they were about the grab Ward and drag him to the dungeons, the man suddenly opened his eyes and with a flick of his wrist yelled, " **Eftforgiefnes** **!** "

Both Gwaine and Percival were pushed back a few paces.

Arthur and Merlin reacted immediately, projecting a battle stance ready for whatever Ward had in store.

"Well Emrys. I must say, I didn't think you had it in you to torture someone. I'm impressed. This isn't over though. It's far from it," Ward threatened, coughing in pain as he did so.

Merlin sensed Ward' magic a moment too late before he could stop him.

"No!" Merlin yelled, as Ward cast a teleportation spell.

In a gust of wind, he disappeared, leaving the four men alone in the room.

 **Oh and some translations for the spells. They are a bit rough and I'm hoping I got them right. I used an old English translator.**

 _ **Acwolen-to die/perish**_

 _ **Bansealf-pain in the bones**_

 _ **Eftforgeifnes-sending back/away**_

 **Also for Wards name:**

 _ **It means watchman or guardian.**_

 **It will make a little more sense later on. It's a bit of foreshadowing. See if you can figure it out. :p**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


	7. Chapter 7

**So this is what I produced. I don't really find it all that good. I don't know why, but I struggled to write this. I think writers block is starting to hit, but I will definitely persevere. I realized I should have put the first little paragraph with the last chapter, but when I wrote it I couldn't decide at the time, so I left it for this chapter. To me, it seems kind of out of place, but I was keeping it, so I just started with it. Whatever. Give me reviews and such. I love getting them! :) I am still amazed at the amount of followers and favs. Thanks guys! XD**

 **I'm also thinking I'm going to do a one-shot of preggers Merlin. I have one written out. I might post it tonight as well, so look for it on my profile.**

"Does anyone care to explain what the bloody hell is going on?" Gwaine exclaimed.

Both Arthur and Merlin looked to each other before Merlin looked resigned and said, "We'd better do this somewhere secure. Let's go to mine and Arthur' chambers. You might as well send for the other knights and Gwen as well. Get Gaius too or he'll have my head for not inviting him as well. This way I only have to say everything once."

Everyone just stood there, too anxious to do anything.

"Well, what are you waiting for! Go!" Merlin yelled.

Percival and Gwaine then fled from the room to get the others.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to, especially in front of them."

Merlin just sighed. "I know, but this is something they all need to hear. I don't want to repeat myself either. It's time you all know what happened four years ago."

All Arthur could pray for was that Merlin didn't relapse into the shell of a man he was four years ago or there would be hell to pay.

Arthur helped Merlin get to their chambers. Merlin was still shaky from his encounter with Ward and leaned on Arthur heavily. Arthur suspected it also had something to do with what happened four years ago. Arthur knows how hard this is for Merlin to discuss and so allowed Merlin to take his time getting to their chambers. By the time they arrived, everyone else was already there, standing, waiting for the royals to arrive. When he and Arthur entered, Gwen and Gaius were the first to react and instantly went to Merlin' side.

"Oh my god! Are you alright Merlin? What happened? Do you need to sit? Sit. Here's a chair." Gwen rushed.

Merlin just waved Gwen aside, saying nothing in return.

Gaius just raised an eyebrow and asked Merlin if he or Arthur had any injuries.

"No Gaius, we are both physically fine," Arthur said for the both of them. "If I can get you all to sit down, then we can get started."

Everyone looked nervous, but sat down anyways. Arthur lead Merlin over to their bed and sat him down. He then went towards the door to shut and lock it.

"Merlin, if you wouldn't mind, could you, you know," Arthur hinted, wiggling his fingers at Merlin.

Merlin grinned slightly before remaining stone-faced and uttered a spell to make sure no one could hear into the room. " **H** **eorcnian** **Hierdan!** "

Merlin gave a nod to Arthur to let him know the room was now secured.

"Alright, now the reason we have brought you all here today was because of an incident that has occurred in the throne room whilst listening to our people speak their minds. It has something to do with what happened four years ago."

Arthur watched as everyone adopted worried and fearful looks, while occasionally glancing at Merlin. Most of the people here were present during Merlin' attack and those who weren't had seen the aftermath of Merlin while he was recovering. It was bad and they all knew it.

"Merlin asked me to gather you all here today because..." Arthur was cut off as Merlin interrupted.

"That's enough Arthur. You don't need to do all the talking here. I have asked you all here today because I am going to tell you all about what really happened four years ago. All the details and why I acted the way I did. I don't want anyone to interrupt me while I'm talking or I won't finish. Can you all agree to do that?"

Everyone around the room all nodded their heads. Arthur went and sat on the bed beside Merlin, wrapping his arm around him for comfort. Merlin leaned into Arthur as he began his tale.

"It all started when me and Arthur were walking back to our chambers after the council meeting. I don't really know how it happened, but it was like I was distorted from reality. Suddenly I wasn't in Camelot anymore. I was in Ealdor and I wasn't in my body. I was seeing and hearing from another. That was the man who showed up in the throne room today. He was the dark sorcerer from back then. Now as I was saying..."

As Merlin proceeded to tell everyone about what happened, down to every last excruciating detail, everyone's faces were morphed from terror, to pity, to anger by the end of his tale.

"...And after he had finished my mother off, I found myself on the floor in Arthur' arms and suddenly falling into labour. By the way, where is Kalia? She was with you last, Gwen."

"Oh, I left her with Mary, the cook. She seemed fine with having Kalia' help with the cooking," Gwen said.

"Good. That's fine," Merlin said.

Arthur decided he should be the one to inform everyone of what happened in the throne room.

"Alright. Now I will tell you what happened in the throne room," Arthur started.

Merlin went to interrupt Arthur, but Arthur saw this coming and shushed him saying, "You've done enough today. I'll tell them what happened."

Merlin quietly nodded and clung to Arthur tighter, seeking his comfort, which Arthur gladly gave, holding him tighter and continued on.

"So I had just arrived at the throne room, after getting our rambunctious daughter into the bath, when Merlin informed me we had one villager left. I took my place beside him and called for the guards to let him in..."

When Arthur had finished, everyone sat quietly, not quite sure what to say to Merlin. Finally it was Gwaine who spoke up.

"So that mook in the throne roomed killed your mother. Why didn't you kill him when you had the chance? I know I would have."

Merlin looked up and Gwaine noticed that tears were staring to form.

"I did," he whispered. "A little after he first came in, I tried to, but I didn't expect him to have magic other than the magic he used on me. When you and Percival came in, I was still in a bit of shock and wasn't really thinking rationally until it was too late and Ward had disappeared."

"And nobody here blames you for him getting away. Isn't that right, Gwaine," Arthur growled at the knight.

Gwaine looked sheepish and replied, "Of course. I wasn't implying that it was Merlin' fault. None of this is his fault. I just though an almighty sorcerer like him wouldn't have had a problem getting rid of that filth."

Merlin just turned toward Arthur, his face in his neck and whispered, "Even I make mistakes."

Only Arthur heard him and glared fiercely at Gwaine, wishing he'd hold his tongue. Gwaine backed away from him and remained silent.

"So, what do we do now?" Leon asked.

"Now we find this monster and we kill him before he comes after Merlin again. I'm not letting this crazed sorcerer hurt my husband again!" Arthur announced.

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

"So where do we start?" Gwen asked.

"I think for right now, we should all take a break and return to this tomorrow afternoon. Merlin needs some rest. And we all need some time to digest the information we've just been given," Gaius replied.

When no one moved, Gaius said in a stern voice, "Everyone out!"

Percival and Gwaine tried to resist, but Gaius just raised an eyebrow at them and they backed off.

Once everyone left the room, leaving Arthur and Merlin alone, Arthur said to Merlin, "I wish you had told me this before. Then maybe I could have done something and protected you better."

"You couldn't have done anything. It's nobodies fault but mine," Arthur went to protest, but Merlin stopped him. "I don't want to hear it Arthur. I should have invited my mother to stay with us a month ago, but I was too busy with matters here, that I forgot. She ended up paying the price and for that, I will forever blame myself."

Arthur looked down at Merlin with sadness. He knew nothing he said to Merlin would get through that thick head of his and kept his mouth shut, when an idea formed.

"How about we have an official funeral for Hunith. We can make a headstone as well, so you can finally say your goodbyes. This could help you to let go of the guilt your harbouring for no reason and put her to rest. It would help everyone else cope as well. Wasn't she and Gaius close? This way everyone can grieve for her and finally get some peace."

While Merlin didn't want to have to say goodbye again and relive everything that happened, he knew what Arthur was saying was true. He should put her to rest and let everyone else grieve. She wasn't just his mother. Gaius held her dearly and he knew Gwen had also gotten close to her. It was for the best he thought.

"Alright. Let's do it."

Arthur smiled. "Good. But how about we get some sleep now."

Merlin just smiled in return while Arthur helped him into his night clothes. While Arthur changed into his night clothes as well, Merlin had snuggled down into the bed, awaiting his husband. Merlin' eyes had just closed when he felt Arthur' arm wrap around and pull him close.

"Goodnight my love. Sleep well."

"Goodnight." Merlin replied.

Arthur heard Merlin' breath even out and knew that he had fallen asleep. His thoughts were racing though and his worry for Merlin' health and safety stuck with him.

'I just hope this doesn't undo all the progress of the last four years. I want my carefree Merlin back.' Arthur thought, finally closing his eyes.

 **Translation for the spell:**

 _ **H** **eorcnian** **Hierdan- listen and fortify**_

 **Not sure if I used these right and couldn't figure out the words I needed so this was what I came up with to make sure the room was soundproof. I just kind of added the two words in this order, so I'm not sure if I punctuated correctly.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


	8. Chapter 8

**So sorry for the late update. I got so busy with work and life and such, that I sort of forgot and never got around to writing the next chapter. Here it is though. It's a lot longer than the others as well, so yay for you. It's also depressing and sad and angsty, so maybe not yay for you. lol. Anyways, it deals with death of a parent so if this is a trigger or anything, don't read.**

 **Here's just a ranty nothing. So I seriously got to stop forgetting they have a kid in this story. I haven't included Kalia in like anything and I keep forgetting she exists and is a character in this story considering she had some parts to play in what I have planned. Ugh! I just suck. This starts off kind of rocky when she is mentioned cause I forgot about her and remembered about half way through writing this, so I went back and quickly added her in. The second half is better with her, cause then I new she was in and could write with her. Just thought I'd share and rant on my stupidity. Not sure how this chapter will turn out though. It was hard to write and I had trouble expressing what I wanted to get across. I hope I managed. Let me know if I didn't. There's lots of time gaps, but that's cause I didn't want to write what happened in the gaps cause it would take too long and would get boring, so bear with it, cause this doesn't let me space it nice, so it's bunched. :(**

 **Love the reviews and follows as well as the favs! I love you guys. The support is awesome! Let me know what you think! Love the criticism/feedback!**

The next morning, Arthur set immediately to preparing the funeral for Hunith. He asked all the servants to spread the word and to help as much as possible, which they all readily agreed to because they liked Merlin and wanted to help him in his time of need. He got Gwen to help with the flowers and the presentation of the courtyard for the many citizens and friends who would be standing to pay their respects. Arthur allowed Kalia to help Gwen with the flowers, as he wanted their daughter to be kept busy so Merlin could be alone and Arthur could get everything prepared. Arthur even wrote a eulogy for the occasion. He would have asked Merlin to write it, as usual, but he knew that was selfish of him, so he opted to do his own speech(but only this once). He told Merlin that he should write something or at least say a few words. Merlin made no reply, so Arthur assumed he either would or wouldn't do it. Arthur couldn't force Merlin to say something, so he let him be. Before Arthur left, he reminded Merlin to pick out the headstone he wanted as well as the carvings that would go on the front. At that Merlin started to tear up again and nodded his head, saying nothing. Arthur went to embrace him and offer him comfort when Merlin told him to go and to get on with his 'kingly' duties.

The ceremony was almost complete now. Arthur made sure that everything was perfect and ready for when Merlin came out. Arthur had set the funeral at a little past midday. He could see the many people of Camelot in the courtyard, holding lit candles, paying their respects silently. Arthur had a stage set up at the front for people to share their stories of Hunith, though he knew only a few actually had the chance to meet her. The knights were standing to the side of the platform, waiting for Arthur and Merlin to emerge from the castle. Arthur saw Gwen and Gaius were also present and were standing as close to the stage as possible. Gwen was holding Kalia in her arms, entertaining her until Merlin arrived to take her. He knew they were worried about Merlin, as well as mourning the woman they all knew and loved.

Arthur figured it was now or never and went to fetch his husband. When he arrived at their room, he noticed the door was cracked a bit. He heard someone breathing harshly in and out of their mouth, as if they couldn't get enough air. Panicking, he burst into the room to find Merlin curled up on the floor beside the bed, looking as if he was on the verge of passing out.

"Hey. Sweetheart. Hey. Merlin. Look at me. I'm here. Calm down please. Come on, you have to calm down or your going to pass out," Arthur panicked, rushing toward Merlin and shaking him slightly.

Merlin continued to hyperventilate, rocking back and forth slowly. Arthur noticed his eyes were unfocused, so Arthur tilted his chin and made him look him in the eyes.

"Merlin, my love. Look at me and breath," Arthur ordered.

Arthur placed Merlin' hand on his chest and started to breath in and out, exaggerating his action so Merlin would follow. After a few minutes of Arthur breathing and Merlin trying to match Arthur', Merlin finally calmed down. Merlin started to breath properly again and seemed to become aware of where he was again.

"Wha..what happened?" Merlin choked out.

"I don't know. You tell me. I came in to find you struggling to breath, completely unaware of your surroundings. I called to you and shook you, but you weren't responding. I finally got you to focus on my breathing and you started to breath properly again."

Merlin looked at Arthur blankly.

After a minute of silence, Arthur couldn't take it anymore and tentatively asked, "Merlin. Are you ok? Speak to me please."

Merlin then looked at Arthur and broke down crying.

"I..I just can't. I thought I could, but I can't. I thought I was past this, but then Ward happened and it all came back and I..." Merlin rushed out, wailing like a new born babe.

"Hey. Shh. I'm here. We can cancel the funeral. We don't have to do this today if your not ready," Arthur reassured.

"But I have to Arthur. I can't keep running from this. I need the closure. I thought I already got it when I rode out to Ealdor and saw my mothers body, but I guess I didn't. Gosh, what's wrong with me. I really am acting like a girls petticoat," Merlin laughed morosely.

"Hey now. Your allowed to act like this, at least today you are. Any other day, there shall be no excuse," Arthur mused.

Merlin laughed his first real laugh since the throne room. Arthur smiled in return.

"Are you ready to go now? Everyone's waiting for us to start," Arthur said. "But we don't have to if you don't want to. We could just..."

"No Arthur. I have to do this," Merlin interrupted.

"Alright."

Arthur helped Merlin up and led him toward the courtyard.

When they exited the castle, Arthur noticed their friends shared relieved looks with each other.

"I guess they were worried since we took so long," Arthur thought.

Arthur led Merlin towards where Gwen and Gaius were standing. He left Merlin with them and walked onto the stage. Arthur saw Merlin grab Kalia and hug her tight to him. He thought he could make out their daughter asking Merlin what was wrong. He never heard Merlin' answer though.

"Welcome, citizens of Camelot. I thank you for being here today to attend the funeral of Hunith Emrys. I know not all of you here knew her or were even familiar with Hunith, but it means a lot to both me and my husband that you are here today, paying your respects to a wonderful woman who died too young. She did not deserve the death she got, but at least she is now resting in Avalon, with the good spirits. I knew her as a headstrong, loving mother, who wanted the best for her son. I know when she found out that I wanted to marry her son, she sure gave me a mouthful. I swear there is nobody who ever scared me like Hunith did. I was lectured and ridiculed by her, being questioned thoroughly about my love for her son," Arthur said, chucking.

Everyone chuckled and smiled at that, including Merlin.

"There isn't a more loving mother out there. She cared for Merlin deeply. She was scared for him, but knew she had to let him make his own choices. To make his own destiny and I couldn't have wished for another man to love. She eventually gave me her blessing, but insisted she was to do the wedding. She told me all I had to do was pay the bill and that she'd do all the rest. Who was I to argue with that," Arthur laughed.

Again, more laughter rang out amongst the people. Arthur again looked at Merlin and saw him smile fondly.

"My only regret was that she never got to meet her granddaughter," Arthur started staring down sadly at Merlin, with their daughter in his arms. "Hunith would have loved her. She sure has the Emrys genes in her. All in all, she will be missed greatly, but never forgotten. Now, I will let me husband come and say a few words." Arthur said, gesturing for Merlin to come.

Merlin slowly started up the steps, Kalia in his arms. When he reached Arthur, he passed Kalia off and Arthur stood to the side, waiting for Merlin to start.

"Um. I'm not really good at these sort of things. I'm not really even sure what to say. I want to start off by saying I don't want your pity," Merlin stated.

Arthur was a little shocked that Merlin had said that in front of everyone. Their friends all wore the same looks of shock on their faces. Nobody said anything, waiting for Merlin to continue.

"The reason I say not to pity me is because I've seen the pity look most of my life and I'm sick of it, so I wish for you not to look at me like that. That would be appreciated," Merlin added.

"Now, I know most of you didn't know my mother, but those of you who did, I want you to always remember her as she was. Even if she can't be here with me now, as long as she lives on in all your hearts, that's enough for me.

Now my mother had her hard share of work with me. When I was a baby, she told me I used to move things around and throw stuff before I could even talk or walk. Imagine cooking supper, when a plate comes flying at the wall beside your head. It was hard for her having a child born with magic in a kingdom where magic was banned. She loved me even though she knew I shouldn't even be breathing, let alone existing. We made it through though. She loved me with all her heart and I loved her back just as much," Merlin said, tears starting to form in his eyes.

Arthur saw this and moved forward to embrace his husband. He knew Merlin wouldn't be able to continue with his speech.

"It's not fair Arthur. It's just not fair," Merlin cried, as Arthur held him as best as he could with Kalia in his arms.

"Papa. Why you sad?" Kalia asked, placing her hands on either side of Merlin' tear stained face.

"Oh sweety. You papa lost someone close to him and he is just sad," Arthur explained.

"I make you happy. No more tears," Kalia exclaimed, her eyes flashing gold.

Merlin gasped as Kalia sent images flashing before his eyes of the three of them together on the picnic they had a month back. Another was of them all playing at the lake as Kalia soaked Arthur with her magic, creating a giant wave that hit him. Next was of a small lesson Merlin had tried to teach Kalia on how to control her magic. Merlin had asked her to levitate a ball. Kalia was doing great at first until Arthur barged in through the door and startled her, causing her to jump, which flung the ball at Arthur' face. The last was of Merlin putting Kalia to bed. He was telling her a tale of one of his and Arthur' adventures. Kalia loved it when Merlin told her stories. The two of them were cuddled up on Kalia' bed with Kalia watching Merlin with awe and wonder, a huge smile on both their faces. Then the images faded and Merlin was back with reality.

Arthur was wondering what their daughter meant when she'd make Merlin happy when he saw her eyes flash gold. Arthur at first wondered what she had done, when he heard Merlin gasp and saw his eyes flash gold as well. As soon as Arthur saw it happen, it was over and both their eyes were normal again. The only exception was that Merlin had the happiest smile on his face.

"Come here you!" Merlin exclaimed, pulling Kalia from Arthur' grasp and gripping her in a tight hug to himself.

Kalia squealed in delight. "Is papa happy now?"

"Yes. Papa is very happy now. Thank you babygirl! You are amazing, you know that?" Merlin said, smiling the whole time.

"Of course papa," Kalia said, with the straightest, most sincere face possible.

This just caused Merlin to laugh out loud.

Arthur just stood by wondering what had happened to change Merlin' mood so drastically, but couldn't help but smile himself at how much happier Merlin looked. He could still see the sadness in his eyes, but there was less of the crushing grief he had before. Arthur noticed everyone else was smiling at Merlin and Kalia' moment.

"Alright. I hate to ruin the mood, but we still have a funeral to finish," Arthur said.

Just like that, the smile was wiped from Merlin' face.

"Yes. Sorry," Merlin said as he started to walk down from the stage.

Arthur went to follow, but realized he still had work to do.

"If anyone wishes to say anything about Hunith, feel free to approach the stage and speak," Arthur said, walking off the stage to join his husband beside Gaius, with Kalia still held firmly in his arms.

At first no one approached and Arthur thought he could move on when Gwen walked onto the stage.

"I've come to know Hunith for quite a while now. We became fast friends since the day I first met her, when we helped rescue her village from Cenred' men. She has told me quite a few funny childhood stories about you, Merlin," Gwen chucked, watching Merlin smile a little at that.

"We also bonded over many other things, which were between me and her. Hunith made you feel loved. She made you feel as if you were her own child when you were in her presence. If she didn't like you or approve of something you did, she wasn't afraid to speak her mind and reprimand you. She was fierce and nothing was stronger than her love for Merlin. He was her world and she loved him with everything she had. Every decision she made, was to keep him safe. If she hadn't felt the need for you to come to Camelot, I never would have gained such an amazing friend, so for that I thank her. I wish she had lived a lot longer than she did, but we can't dwell on the past. I know what it's like to lose your only parent and it hurts. It makes you feel like you've lost apart of yourself, but I've come to realize that isn't true. If anything, it gives you strength. It makes you stronger, but it doesn't mean, it doesn't hurt. Things will get better though. Look how I turned out. You just have to surround yourself with amazing people and you definitely have that Merlin. We are here for you," Gwen finished, walking off the stage to give Merlin a big hug.

Arthur saw that Merlin had tears back in his eyes and wished for this to end sooner, rather than later. He hated seeing Merlin cry so much.

Gaius was the next to step up.

"I have known Hunith for many years. Before Merlin was born. Her and Balinor were very dear to my heart and I will miss them greatly. I thought of her as family, just as I think of Merlin as my family. Hunith was such a wonderful woman. So caring and loving in everything she did. She was very stubborn, just like Merlin. Her top priority once Merlin was born, was to protect him with everything she had. She loved you so much, my boy. I know she told you something before she died and I believe it was similar to what I'll say now. She loved you so much and wishes for you to live a long happy life. Don't dwell on this. Move past it and grow. You have people who love you, just as much as she did. We are always here for you. Hunith touched everyone's hearts. She was so kind, but if you got on her bad side, then god have mercy on you. She died too young, but there is nothing we can do to change what happened. I will miss her very much, but at least she is no longer in pain. She is free, just as we are free to mourn over her and to fix the holes in our hearts, that she left behind.," Gaius finished, exiting off the stage, back towards Merlin and Arthur.

A few more people went up and said a few words. Not long after, Arthur went back up and thanked everyone for coming.

"I thank you for coming. Whether you knew Hunith or not, on behalf of myself and my husband, we thank you for taking time out of your day to support us in our time of grieving. There is a feast in the castle for everyone to enjoy. Please make your way there now, or you may head home if you wish."

With his last words, Arthur walked off the stage again and went back to Merlin.

"You ready to place the headstone and join the feast? You don't have to if you don't want to. You could retire for the night. Kalia can sleep with us tonight."

"Yay! Me sleep with papa and daddy!" Kalia cheered.

Merlin and Arthur just smiled down at Kalia.

"I should stay for a bit at the feast, then I'll go back to our room. It's the polite thing to do," Merlin replied.

"I think everyone would understand if you wanted to skip the party."

"No, it's fine. I need to eat something anyways. So does Kalia," Merlin said.

"Me hungy," Kalia piped in.

"Alright. Were just going to put grandma' stone in the ground, then we'll eat, ok?" Merlin said.

"K."

Arthur decided Hunith should have a special place for her burial, so he decided she would get buried where the royal family lays. They all made there way down towards the catacombs and layed the stone in place. Only Gwen, Gaius and the knights were present, as everyone said their goodbyes. Once they were done, everyone but Arthur, Merlin and Kalia remained, to say their last respects privately as a family.

They emerged a little while later, with red, puffy eyes and tear stains on their faces. Arthur told everyone, they could all go home and freshen up for the party. That was what he and Merlin were going to do. They all parted ways and went to prepare for the party.

Arthur and Merlin were dressed in their finest clothes, both with crowns upon their heads. Kalia also had a small crown on her head as she had insisted long ago that if papa and daddy got one, so did she. They entered the hall, to find everyone already seated and waiting for their king's to enter. Merlin and Arthur sat at the head table, with Kalia beside Merlin, followed by Gwen, Lancelot and Elyan. On Arthur' other side, he had Gaius, Leon, Percival and Gwaine.

Merlin didn't feast long as Arthur had predicted. Arthur noticed Merlin was very quiet most of the night, saying very little back in conversations anyone started with him. The only one he talked the most to was Kalia. Merlin excused himself from the feast and thanked everyone again for coming. His excuse was that he had to see the princess off to bed, but everyone knew he was probably exhausted from the day.

Arthur left a little after that, telling everyone to keep being lively if they wished, just that it was time for the King to retire. When he reached their chambers, he slowly opened the door to find it completely silent in the room, save for the two people snuggled together fast asleep on the bed. Merlin had his arms wrapped around Kalia, while Kalia was snuggled up into Merlin' warmth. Arthur quickly changed into his nightclothes and quietly slipped into bed. He wrapped his arms around Merlin, spooning him from behind. Merlin leaned back into Arthur with a sigh. Arthur smiled down at his husband and knew that everything was going to be fine. Merlin wasn't going to break like last time. Merlin would be just fine. Arthur leaned over and kissed Merlin on the forehead before doing the same to his daughter. Arthur then lay his head down and drifted off to sleep wondering what tomorrow had in store for them.

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm sooo sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm not dead, I swear! XD I've just been busy busy busy! I've got college coming up in 3 weeks and I'm not prepared as well as my work which is killing me, cause it leaves me unmotivated and that makes me not wanna write. Again, I'm sorry. I'm gonna get the next one out sooner, I swear.**

 **On another note, things are starting to roll. I always have trouble inputting Kalia. I mean, it's not hard to write her per say, but she is hard to do for dialogue cause I wanna keep her childishness, but at the same time, she is 4 and very smart, so she can't be too dumb. Argh!**

 **Btw, if you guys have any one-shots you want me to write or suggestions or anything, let me know. I'd be more than happy to write them! :) They'd probably get done faster than the chapters, lol, depending on how deep I go. A lot of you like my little prggers Merlin one and I'm happy, cause I didn't think it would do as well, but yay! You guys are awesome! Anyways, enough of my drabbling, get reading! hehe! :P**

"Daddy! Daddy get up." Kalia whined, nudging Arthur.

"Mmmhh..." Arthur replied, trying to ignore his daughter.

"Daddy, please get up. Papa' already up. Why aren't you?"

"Because, unlike papa, daddy enjoys sleeping in," Arthur grumbled to his daughter, before realizing how absurd his statement sounded.

Arthur opened his eyes and quickly sat up in bed, knocking Kalia back onto the sheets.

Arthur saw what he had done and apologized immediately. "I'm sorry babygirl. I didn't realize you were that close to me. Are you ok?"

Kalia just giggled in return and snuggled down into the soft sheets.

Arthur shook his head fondly at her, before he realized why he had panicked. Where was Merlin?

"Hey, Kalia, sweety. Where's your papa?"

"I don't know dadda. Papa wasn't here when I woke up. I guess he got hungy."

Arthur tried to calm down the panic he felt. Merlin definitely didn't get up early unless he absolutely had to. He also wouldn't leave Kalia alone and asleep with Arthur, without informing Arthur of where he was going. Something didn't seem right.

"How long has your papa been gone?" Arthur asked his daughter.

"Don't know. Long time,"

"Oh, ok."

"Is something wrong dadda?" Kalia asked.

"No sweety. Nothings wrong. How bout we go visit uncle Gaius and I'll get you something to eat, while I try to find your dad," Arthur joked, even though inside he couldn't help the feeling that something was wrong.

"Yay! Uncy Gaius!" Kalia squealed, leaping off the bed and making a dash for the door.

"Wait. Your not even decent!" Arthur yelled, dashing off the bed to get his daughter.

After half an hour of Arthur fighting to get Kalia back to their rooms and dressing her, he finally managed to get her to Gaius' with a plate full of fruits and meats for her to eat.

"What brings you here Arthur? Are you ok? Is Merlin? Kalia?" Gaius asked upon seeing Arthur suddenly show up at his chambers.

"Yes Gaius. Everyone is fine. I was hoping you'd be able to watch Kalia for a bit, while I try to find her idiot of a father.

Gaius raised his eyebrow at that, but otherwise didn't comment.

"Alright Kalia. Let's get your breakfast into you, while your father gallivants around the castle for his husband," Gaius sniggered.

"What gala..galvan..gavantin mean?" Kalia asked.

Gaius just laughed and told her, "It just means that your dad is going to walk around the castle calling your papa' name all day."

"Oh. Well, have fun dadda. Hope you find papa."

"Don't worry. I will," Arthur said, before leaving Gaius' room and heading for the throne room.

Arthur decided to start with the obvious and work his way down. First he checked the throne room, next the stables, then the training grounds as well as the armouries. He then searched the markets asking anyone if they had seen Merlin, to which they all replied with a no. Arthur started to really worry once he had searched the whole castle, still finding no news of Merlin. The only options left were the forest, meaning Merlin had left the castle altogether and headed out into the woods. To where, Arthur didn't know. He figured, going to the lake that Merlin loved would be a start and so he headed to the stables to get a horse prepared.

Once Arthur was all set up, he rode out of the castle and towards the woods. He rode a little bit before he started to see the lake in view. Arthur knew this was the right place before he actually saw Merlin. He quieted his horse a few meters back and tied it to a tree before slipping off and going on foot the rest of the way. Arthur was going for as quiet as possible, so Merlin wouldn't know he was there.

When Arthur got close enough, he could see that Merlin was kneeling in front of the water and was saying something. Wanting to know what it was, Arthur crept closer, careful to make no noise at all. Once Arthur was close enough to make out the words, he realized Merlin was actually talking to someone.

"I don't know what to do about it Freya," Merlin said.

"I'm sorry I cannot be more helpful to you Merlin. It is not for me to say though. I cannot give you the answers you seek, no matter how much I want to give them to you."

"I know," Merlin said sadly, a tear sliding down his face. "I just wish I didn't feel so helpless. I don't know what he wants or what he'll do to get it. Can't you tell me who all is in danger? I would like to at least know that."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"You don't need to keep apologizing. I know it's not your fault. You have been helpful though, so thank you," Merlin said, sincerity in his voice.

"I don't feel very helpful," Freya sighed.

Merlin then leaned in and hugged her. "You were. Trust me. I'm glad that we were allowed this time to talk."

"So am I," Freya replied. "I'm glad you found another to love. I'm happy for you."

"You know I'll never forget about you, nor will my feelings for you completely disappear."

Freya giggled, tears streaming down her face. "I know. I know, my love."

Then Merlin did something Arthur never expected him to do and clasped his hands on Freya' cheeks and kissed her lips.

Arthur let out a shocked gasp, which alerted Merlin and Freya to his presence. They both broke apart, their heads snapping towards where Arthur was peering around the tree.

"Arthur," Merlin gasped.

"I'll leave you now," Freya said, disappearing back into the lake.

Merlin turned and looked out at the lake with a sad look on his face before schooling his features and looking back at Arthur.

"I don't even know what to say to you," Arthur said.

"You know I love you very much Arthur.

"I know, or at least I thought I did. You told me a little about Freya but you never really told me how far your acquaintances went. I don't even know what to say to you right now."

Merlin then got angry and screamed at Arthur, "Are you seriously considering that I don't love you! That it was all a lie! I thought you knew me better than that! I thought you were smarter than that! What me and Freya had was in the past. She's a very sore subject for me. Yes, she was my first love, but the feelings I have for you go way beyond what I had for her That doesn't mean she still doesn't hold a piece of my heart. I will forever remember her and what we had, but that in no way means my love for you is false! If you truly believe that I don't love you, then I shall leave Camaelot! I'll take Kalia and leave!"

Arthur was shocked to say the least by Merlin' outburst. Sure, he'd seen Merlin angry, especially when he was carrying Kalia, but he never heard Merlin sound so desperate and heartbroken as well as angry at him before.

"Well what else do you want me to think! You kissed her! I saw you and you expect me to just accept what you did and carry on as before! I don't think so!" Arthur yelled back, his mouth speaking before his brain could stop him.

Merlin looked as if Arthur had slapped him. Tears began to pool in his eyes and he watched Merlin blink furiously to stop them from falling.

"Fine," Merlin said, getting up and marching back towards the castle.

Arthur didn't know what to do, so he just walked back to his horse and rode back to Camelot, riding straight past Merlin, leaving him to walk back on his own.

To say Merlin was hurt by Arthur, was an understatement. He expected Arthur to be upset, but he didn't except him to question his love for him. Merlin loved Arthur with all his heart. He was that which makes him whole. Two halves of the same coin. There couldn't be one without the other. Merlin didn't know what to do to even fix it. Everything lay with Arthur and Merlin decided he would let him cool off for a bit. That didn't mean it didn't hurt just a little bit when he watched Arthur ride past him, leaving him on his own to get back to Camelot. Arthur hated it when Merlin went on his own in the woods, so when he left him to walk back on his own, he knew it was serious.

Merlin was almost to Camelot, when he felt his magic flare up in a warning. He stopped and turned to where his magic was saying the threat was coming from. After he waiting for what seemed like forever, he finally saw someone emerging from the woods. Anger and fear flared up in him when he realized who it was. He shot out a spell to kill, but like before it was deflected.

"Is that anyway to treat an old friend," the man mocked him.

"What do you want now. I will kill you if you so much as touch someone I love again," Merlin threatened.

"Now now. No need to be so angry Emrys. I was only trying to have a conversation with you but it seems I'm going to need to persuade you to listen. _Asaelean!"_

Before Merlin could react, Ward' magic wrapped around him until he couldn't move. Merlin struggled with all his might, but he found he couldn't break the spell on him.

"Argh!" Merlin screamed.

"Calm down Emrys. I'm only going to talk to you. It won't take long, so don't worry. Not that I'm too worried, seeing as you and your husband are in a sort of tiff aren't ya. Which means, he probably won't be looking for you again for a while..," Ward started.

"Why the hell can't you leave me and my family alone!" Merlin yelled at Ward.

"That was rude. You shouldn't interrupt a person while they are talking. I will forgive you this one time, but I don't want it to happen again," Ward threatened

"I don't think your going to kill me, so why should I listen to you?" Merlin sneered.

"I guess I'll just have to demonstrate. _Heafodwaerc!"_

A searing pain ran through Merlin' head, elating a scream of agony to erupt from him. It only lasted seconds, but to Merlin it felt like hours.

"Now, do you see what happens when you don't listen to me?" Ward asked, watching as Merlin' head drooped onto his chest, breathing laboured.

"Let's start again. Now, I'm going to tell you my objectives and what I'm planning and I'm going to enjoy watching you fail to stop me from succeeding. Of course I won't tell you everything, or that would just be spoiling the fun. It would take away the mystery," Ward started. "Now, what I want is for you to suffer. I thought it was pretty obvious. Now, how I'm going to do it is another thing. You see I have a certain target in mind. Someone you cherish most in the world. Someone you love more than life itself. And I'm going to take it from you. You also won't be able to stop me, so it will be fun to see you try. Another thing your probably wondering is who I am and what my powers are. You probably don't remember them but I do."

Ward noticed Merlin' puzzled expression and continued his story, "Oh. Of course you wouldn't remember killing an entire race of wizards. Although, you didn't do it alone. Arthur helped you of course, but you were the one who turned on your own kind," Ward hissed.

"Are you one of Morgana' goons?" Merlin asked.

"What did I say about interrupting me!" Ward yelled, watching Merlin scream as he activated the spell again.

"Of course I'm not with Morgana. She was deranged and I would never side with her. Neither would the rest of my family. I'll give you a hint though. We were of the Watchers. We were all special and you and your husband destroyed us all! You slaughtered us without regret and now you shall pay for your crimes!" Ward laughed hysterically.

"I believe I'm done giving you enough hints. I'll leave you to it now, but before I go, I'll leave you with a little present."

Merlin felt the magic release on him and he stumbled forward, ready to cast a spell, when a blinding pain erupted in his head again. It was worse than the last time and the last thing he rememberered was his screaming and Ward' laughter before darkness claimed him.

 **So, what did you think? Don't ask me why I threw in a Freya scene. Not sure myself, but it started trouble, so it worked for me. hehe! Now I also sort of ship freylen but not as hard as I ship merthur, cause they were seriously meant to be. Don't worry, not a lot of freylen and it certainly won't be super big part of story either. I can't say more though or I spoil and I definitely don't wanna do that!**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...until next time**


	10. Chapter 10

**A new chapter! And I got it out sooner than the last one. Yay!**

As Arthur reached Camelot he had a strange sense of foreboding. He just felt like something was wrong, but he didn't quite know what. Aside from his relationship falling apart with Merlin, he just couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen.

Arthur rode into the square and handed his horse off to the stable hands before heading into the castle to his, I mean his and Merlin' chambers. All of the servants gave him a wide-step, trying to avoid the raging King. Arthur had the unfortunate chance to happen upon Lancelot on the way to his chambers, asking what was wrong and where was Merlin? At the mention of Merlin' name, Arthur flinched and continued on his way, ignoring Lancelot. When he reached his chambers, he quickly locked the door and paced around the room. He needed to think. He realizes now, that he might have overreacted a bit. He should have at the very least let Merlin explain, instead of doubting Merlin' love for him. Merlin was Arthur' whole world and deep down, Arthur knew Merlin felt the same. Merlin had mentioned Freya before to him when Arthur had asked about some of his adventures. Merlin had just gotten quiet and sad, when explaining what had happened and Arthur knew he had left some stuff out. Apparently he left the most important thing of all out and that was that, at some point, Merlin truly loved this girl. To Arthur, Merlin had seriously downplayed his relationship with her. He made it seem like a small fling, that was over before it even started, but after watching Merlin and that girl by the lake, he knew that that wasn't the case. The amount of emotion in Merlin' words was enough to convince Arthur of that.

Arthur continued to pace about his room, thinking over what had happened, before finally coming to the conclusion that he had made the biggest mistake of his life! He shouldn't have said the things he did, and even as he said them, he didn't mean them. That doesn't mean Merlin doesn't believe them though. Arthur had seen the tears in his eyes, even though Merlin had tried to hide them. He knew his words hurt Merlin deeply and he was very sorry that he said them at all. His mouth went off before his mind could process anything. Arthur had finally come to the conclusion that he definitely needed to find Merlin, give him a huge kiss and apologize. To let Merlin explain himself.

So with Arthur' mission in mind, he finally left his chambers and wandered down towards Gaius' rooms, knowing Merlin would probably be there. The sun was setting in the sky, so Merlin had to be back by now. He didn't walk that far out in the first place.

Upon arriving at Gaius', Arthur knew immediately that something was wrong. When he opened the door, he saw Gaius whispering with Gwen and the knights. They all shared looks of worry on their faces. As Arthur entered, they all looked up and a hush fell over them. Some of them were giving him angry looks, while others adopted a blank, emotionless face.

"Um. What's going on?" Arthur asked.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Lance said, accusation lacing his tone.

"What do you mean?"

"What we mean is, where is Merlin? What the hell did you do to him?" Gwaine yelled, about to launch himself at Arthur, but Percival held him back.

Arthur was shocked. What did they mean by where is Merlin? Shouldn't he already be here? Arthur thought.

"What are you talking about? Merlin should be here. Is he not?" Arthur asked, puzzled.

Everyone shared a look of horror before looking back at their King.

"What we mean Sire, is that none of us have seen Merlin and you were the last to be with him. You returned angry and now Merlin' missing," Gaius said.

"Missing? Are you sure no ones seen him?" Arthur whispered, beginning to panic.

"That's exactly what we are saying Sire," Leon replied.

"Oh my god!" Arthur said, collapsing onto Gaius' bed. "This is all my fault! If we hadn't had that stupid fight and if I hadn't left him to walk home alone in the woods, he'd be home safe with me. I'm such an idiot!" Arthur exclaimed, tears starting to form in his eyes.

Everyone moved towards their King, worried to see him break down in front of them.

"Sire, what did you mean by you left Merlin to walk home alone in the woods?" Percival asked.

"When Merlin went missing this morning, I searched the whole kingdom and lower town and couldn't find him. I figured there was one place left and that was the Lake of Avalon. I found him there and...it doesn't matter. We had a fight and I rode off without him, leaving him to walk back to the castle alone. I didn't think anything would happen to him! He always goes out there alone and it's not like he's defenceless! I just..." Arthur stuttered, tears starting to slide down his face. "What if he's hurt or even worse, dead?"

"He's not dead! Don't talk like that!" Gwen shouted at him.

Arthur looked at her shocked. No one dared to break the silence.

Gwaine figured he needed to finally speak up. "Well, what are we all sitting around here for! Let's go find him!"

Arthur looked up at Gwaine and wiped away his tears. "Your right. I have to go find him!"

"What do you mean by you have to find him? Were all coming with you princess," Gwaine said, a determined looks on his face.

When Arthur looked around, he saw that all his knights wore equally determined looks, including Gwen and Gaius.

"Alright, but I don't want Gwen and Gaius to go..," Arthur started, quickly continuing before Gwen or Gaius to protest. "...Because I need you guys to stay here in case Merlin' hurt and needs immediate medical treatment. I also want you to stay here in case we panicked for nothing and he ends up showing up here before us, while were gone."

Gwen and Gaius saw his logic and agreed to stay. With that done, Arthur and the knights headed out to search for Merlin. Before Arthur left, he poked his head back in.

"Would one of you please check up on Kalia and if she asks where we are just tell her that her Daddy' looking for her Papa and will be home shortly. I don't want you to lie to her, but I also don't want her having the full truth either."

"Alright Arthur. I'll check on her," Gwen said.

Arthur nodded at her and then left for the stables to find his idiot of a husband.

All 5 of them rode out of the castle and onto the track, searching for any sign of Merlin. Arthur told them to spread out along the way and sent Elyan, Percival, Gwaine and Lean into the woods every few feet or so, so they could cover more ground in case he wasn't within sighting distance on the path. For all Arthur knew, Merlin was just hiding in the woods so he wouldn't have to face Arthur. To give himself some space. The closer they got to the lake, the more Arthur wasn't so sure Merlin was just hiding in the woods. The feeling of forbodement came back and Arthur just knew the feeling he felt earlier was to do with Merlin. Something wasn't right. Suddenly Arthur saw something on the side of the path near the trees. He couldn't quite make out what it was, but it kind of looked like a body. Arthur kicked his horse into a sprint and practically leapt off the horse when he got closer.

"No, no, no, no, no. Please no," Arthur cried, kneeling beside the body.

Arthur reached out with shaking hands and rolled it over, already knowing it was Merlin, before he saw his face.

"Your not dead. I know your not," Arthur said, grabbing Merlin' wrist.

"Is he dead?" Gwaine whispered, looking at Merlin's unconscious and limp form.

Arthur let out a sigh of relief, finding a pulse still beating, albeit a little weak.

"He's alive," Arthur breathed out.

"Thank god," Gwaine said.

Arthur then checked to see if Merlin had any injuries. To Arthur it seemed like there was nothing wrong with him.

"Merlin. Merlin. Wake up my love," Arthur said, shaking Merlin' shoulders.

Arthur got no response from Merlin.

"What's wrong with him? He looks fine," Gwaine said.

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious Gwaine! You think if I knew what was wrong with him, I would be trying to get him to wake up!" Arthur shouted.

"Calm down princess. I'm just worried about him. It looks like he just collapsed, but Merlin doesn't just collapse for no reason. Something had to have happened. The real question is what?"

"I know. Let's just get him back to Gaius for now. Maybe he'll know how to get him to wake up," Arthur said, lifting Merlin off the ground. He made his way to his horse and stopped, turning to address Gwaine.

"Can you hold him for a moment, while I get onto my horse. Then you can just pass him up," Arthur said.

Gwaine walked over and took Merlin from Arthur. Arthur hopped up onto his horse and reached down for Merlin. Gwaine passed him up and Arthur placed him in front of himself. Merlin just layed limp against Arthur, his head lolled against Arthur' shoulder.

Once Gwaine was seated Arthur said, "Alright, let's go."

"What about the others?" Gwaine asked.

"We'll pick them up on the way. If not, you can round them up. I have to get Merlin back as soon as possible."

"Alright," Gwaine said.

Arthur rode as fast as he couldn't, trying not to jostle Merlin around too much. Arthur hated seeing Merlin so still and quiet. It wasn't right. Arthur finally saw Camelot coming into view and only Leon and Elyan had joined them. Just before Arthur reached the bridge, Gwaine broke off and went to collect Percival, while Leon and Elyan followed Arthur through into the courtyard.

As soon as the stable hands came out to collect his horse, Arthur had already passed Merlin to Leon and jumped off his horse. Merlin was back in his arms as he ran towards Gaius' chambers. Gaius and Gwen jumped as Arthur burst into the room, the door slamming against the wall.

"I need you to help him. He won't wake up," Arthur pleaded, setting Merlin down on the Gaius' cot.

"I'll see what I can do sire," Gaius said, moving towards his ward.

Arthur and Gwen stood by silently, awaiting Gaius' diagnosis. After what seemed like forever Gaius finally backed away from Merlin and faced Arthur and Gwen.

"I'm afraid I don't know what's wrong. Physically, there's nothing wrong with him. His heartbeat is fine, if not a little slower than normal, but he's not unhealthy in anyway. The only thing I can think of is that it could be a sickness of the mind. I can't say for certain though. I will try to arouse him though, with this," Gaius said, moving to grab a bottle off of the many shelves that lined his workspace.

Arthur quickly sat beside Merlin and grabbed his hand. Arthur wanted Merlin to have Arthur be the first thing he sees when he awakes. Gaius uncorked the bottle and held it under Merlin' nose. Even from where Arthur was sitting, the potion smelt terrible. Almost immediately Merlin bolted upright, taking a deep breathe of air, before quickly looking around confused.

Finally Merlin's eyes fell on Arthur and he quickly retracted his hand, a frown on his face.

"Ugh. What happened?" Merlin said, holding a hand to his head.

"We were hoping you could tell us what happened, my boy," Gaius said.

"Are you alright Merlin. I mean of course your not alright, but are you hurting?" Gwen babbled out.

A smile broke out onto his face and he replied, "I'm alright. Just a bit of a headache is all."

Gwen smiled back, as did Gaius.

Merlin then turned and looked at Arthur, apprehension showing on his face. Before Merlin could react, Arthur quickly leaned in and kissed him harshly and desperately.

When Arthur pulled back, Merlin' pupils were dilated and he was breathing heavily.

"What was that for. I thought you thought I didn't love you anymore?" Merlin asked.

"Forget what I said by the lake. I was being a prat. A dollaphead if you will. I'm so sorry. This doesn't mean I can forget what happened, but we can discuss it later. Right now, I'm just happy your ok. I was scared I'd lost you back there. I don't think I'm going to ever let you out of my sight again," Arthur said, kissing Merlin again.

"I'm sorry for what happened to. I'll explain whenever you want, but right now, we've got some bigger problems. I know what Ward' after. Or should I say who. He's after me and you Arthur. He wants us to suffer," Merlin said.

"How do you know all this Merlin?" Gwen asked.

"How do you think I ended up the way I did. It was him. I didn't have time to do anything before he bound me with his magic. He told me some stuff and what he was after. Then, I sort of passed out. That's the last thing I remember."

"What do you mean by blacked out?" Arthur asked, anger in his voice.

"Well..." Merlin drawled.

"Well what?"Arthur growled.

"He sort of used a spell."

"What kind of spell?"

"A spell that knocks you unconscious," Merlin supplied.

"Did he hurt you," Arthur continued.

"It only lasted for a few seconds, before I passed out, so it doesn't really matter now," Merlin said.

"Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter!" Arthur shouted. "Of course it matters! That bastard hurt you! I'm going to kill him!"

"I think right now, Merlin should go and get some rest and you can continue this discussion tomorrow," Gaius said.

"But..."

"Gaius is right Arthur. Let's just get Merlin to bed and we can all talk about this tomorrow," Gwen added.

"Alright. Let's go Merlin."

Arthur helped Merlin up and the two of them walked to their chamber. When they got there Arthur noticed Merlin' eyes were starting to droop.

"You tired?" Arthur asked.

"No. What makes yu say that," Merlin slurred.

Arthur just laughed and led Merlin into the room, shutting the door behind them. Arthur helped Merlin change into his night clothes and just as he was about to put Merlin into bed, Merlin got up and started to walk towards the door.

"And where do you think your going?" Arthur asked, stopping Merlin from leaving.

"I want Kalia. I want my baby girl," Merlin whined.

"Alright. You lie in bed and I'll go grab her," Arthur chuckled, leading Merlin back to the bed.

Arthur walked next door, into Kalia' room and was surprised to find her awake, almost like she was waiting for Arthur to show up.

"Hey sweetheart. What are you still doing up?"

"I want Papa. I don't like that you left me. I want to help find Papa too, but you left me," Kalia pouted.

"Aw, sweety. I know you would have wanted to come with me, but you were needed here. I brought him home and he really wants you to come sleep with us tonight again."

"Yay!" Kalia squealed, leaping off the bed and out the door.

Arthur just laughed at his crazy little girl and followed her to their room, only to find her already cuddled up in Merlin' arms. Arthur walked over and slid underneath the covers, kissing Merlin and Kalia goodnight, before closing his eyes and letting unconsciousness take him.

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


	11. Chapter 11

**Super sorry I haven't updated in a while. It's been like a month! I've been moving into college and trying to sort myself out. I've been stressed lately and I finally found some time and imagination to write a new chapter. It a longish one, so yay for you! I swear Imma try and update sooner. I've got a lot of tests coming up these next 2 weeks though, so we'll see. I'm not giving up! I meant what I said, when I said I am finishing this story. I will be updating my destiel one at some point as well, so keep an eye out! :) This ones a little juicy! mwahahahaha!**

Merlin awoke the next morning feeling extremely comfortable and warm. When he looked over he realized he was lying with Kalia curled up in his arms, with Arthur' arms wrapped around him from behind.

"This is nice," Merlin thought.

Merlin wished he could stay in bed forever like this, but he had a mission in mind today and nothing was going to deter him. Unfortunately, Merlin knew that Arthur would worry if he just left randomly again, so instead of ditching Arthur, like he was going to do, Merlin decided he'd be nice and leave Arthur a note.

Merlin slipped Arthur' arms off of him and somehow managed to uncurl Kalia from his arms and place her in Arthur' arms all in one go, without his natural clumsiness getting in the way. Merlin quickly wrote Arthur a note saying he would be in the library if he was looking for him and told him not to worry. Merlin placed the note on their bedside table where Arthur would find it and made his way to the changing screen.

As Merlin got dressed and was heading out the door, his clumsiness decided to show itself. Just as Merlin was heading to the door, he somehow tripped on the corner of the table and fell to the ground with a crash! Merlin lay on the ground stunned for a few seconds, groaning from the pain, before deciding he should get up. As Merlin slowly got off the ground, careful not to injure himself more, he noticed, that by some miraculous miracle, Arthur hadn't woken up. Neither had Kalia. Arthur stirred in his sleep and pulled Kalia closer to him, but that was all he did. Even Kalia slept through his fall and just snuggled back into her father. To Merlin, it sounded like the loudest noise ever, but he guessed it must have been louder to him, than the other occupants in the room. It also could have had something to do with Arthur being stressed out the last few days, as well as not getting enough sleep. Merlin felt guilt creep up on him, knowing that he was the reason Arthur wasn't sleeping.

With a sigh, Merlin turned around and left the room, careful to gently close the door. Merlin figured he should start by figuring out what Ward meant when he said The Watchers and that he and Arthur had killed them all, leaving Ward the last one of his kind. To Merlin, that sounded like it was a group of specially talented wizards. That was the only explanation he could come up with, so he figured that there would only be one place he could find the answers he sought, and that was in Geoffrey' library.

Merlin headed down the hallways until he reached Lord Geoffrey's library chambers. He stood outside the door and knocked. When no answer came, Merlin turned the handle to find the door unlocked and pushed it open.

"Well that's a little weird," Merlin thought, entering the library.

As soon as Merlin looked inside, he got a very bad feeling. The place was a mess. Books were scattered and shelves were tipped over. Merlin got nervous as he made his way into the room. At first glance, it looked someone had just ransacked the room, until the smell of blood hit his nose. Merlin began to search at where it was resonating from and found it was coming from Geoffrey' personal study. Merlin pushed open the door to find it looked about the same as the main room, except for the fact that Geoffrey was laying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, gasping for breath.

"Oh my god! Geoffrey!" Merlin yelled, rushing over to the old man.

Merlin quickly assessed the damage and found that it looked like someone had stabbed him in the chest. There was no weapon in sight though, so whoever did this, stabbed Geoffrey and left.

"Hey..hey now. You're, you're going to be alright. Just stay with me ok," Merlin said, his voice shaking as he tried to stem the blood.

Merlin assumed that the weapon had probably gone through a lung, which was why Geoffrey was having trouble breathing. He was bleeding out and if Merlin didn't do anything, he was definitely going to die. Tears started to stream down Merlin' face and Merlin quickly wiped them away, smearing blood across his face in the process.

"You can't die on me, old man. You're supposed to out-live us all," Merlin joked, ripping his shirt and applying more pressure to the wound.

Merlin knew that the only thing that would save him, would be his magic, so he quickly thought of all the healing spells he knew and decided to try a few out and hope for the best.

" _ **Agieman**_ ," Merlin said, eyes flashing gold.

After a few seconds, Merlin realized it wasn't working so he tried another one.

" _ **Gelacnian**_."

Again, nothing was happening. Merlin was getting frustrated.

" _ **Purhhaelan!**_ " Merlin shouted, pouring every ounce of his magic into it.

Merlin could feel his power surge forward and try to repair the damage and he almost thought it was working before he watched Geoffrey take one last breath and stop altogether.

"No! No, no,no,no,no! You can't die on me!" Merlin screamed as he rapidly pounded on Geoffrey' chest, hoping to restart his heart.

After a few more tries, Merlin let out a scream, as tears poured down his face. This was all his fault. Somehow Merlin knew this was his fault. If he hadn't gotten everyone involved in his mess, nobody would be dying on him. To Merlin, it felt like he had personally stabbed Geoffrey in the chest and it was eating him up inside.

Merlin was so lost in his sorrow that he didn't notice anyone had come into the room until a hand was gently placed on his shoulder. Merlin looked up to see Percival standing behind him. Percival silently knelt down next to Merlin and pried his hands off of the body. Percival then wrapped his arms around Merlin in a comforting hug. Merlin felt like he didn't deserve to be comforted, but as soon as Percival pulled him to his chest, Merlin broke down again and cried his heart out.

"It's not fair. It's just not fair. Why him?" Merlin sobbed into Percy' chest.

"I don't know Merlin. I just don't know," Percy whispered back.

There was nothing anyone could say to Merlin, that would make him feel better. Merlin was pretty sure that Ward was behind this and Merlin vowed he would avenge Geoffrey and kill the man that killed his friend.

After what felt like forever, but in reality was only 15 minutes, Merlin had finally calmed down. Merlin untangled himself from Percy' arms and stood up, Percy standing with him. Merlin wiped his eyes again, smearing even more blood onto his face. Percy looked at Merlin questioningly, wondering what Merlin' next move was going to be.

"We have to inform Arthur, but first we need to get Gaius," Merlin said.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to see Arthur first. I can go get Gaius if you would like. You don't have to be here anymore," Percy gently said.

"I'm fine. I need to do this. I'm fine," Merlin said, more to convince himself, than to convince Percival.

"Alright then," Percival sighed, wishing Merlin didn't have to keep suffering at the hands of terrible people.

Merlin led the way, walking almost in a daze all the way to Gaius' chambers. He barely noticed the gasps and muttered questions as to if he was alright and what had happened? He probably looked like quite a sight, with the blood smeared face, as well as his blood soaked clothes and hands. Merlin couldn't care less though. He just needed to get to Gaius' and then inform Arthur of what happened, not that Arthur probably wasn't already informed. Merlin approached Gaius' door and walked in without knocking.

"Merlin my dear boy! You should always…." Gaius trailed off, gasping as he took in Merlin' appearance.

"What on earth happened to you! Are you alright? Where are you hurt? Come sit down," Gaius rushed out, trying to pull his ward toward the bed.

Merlin stood firm though and refused to sit down. Percival hovered just inside the doorway, not wanting to leave Merlin' side for a second until Arthur showed up, but feeling he should keep his distance for now.

"I'm fine Gaius. It's not my blood. It's Geoffrey'. He's dead. Stabbed in the chest, down in his private study. I thought I'd inform you, so you can collect the body and such," Merlin said, his voice holding no emotion in it.

"Oh my poor boy," Gaius said, tears forming in his eyes.

Gaius rushed toward Merlin to comfort him, but Merlin stepped just out of his reach.

"I'm fine," Merlin said.

Gaius didn't believe Merlin for a second, but decided to leave matters alone until Arthur got here.

"Have you informed Arthur yet?"

"No. Merlin insisted on finding you first. We were going to go to him next, but I have a feeling Arthur will probably find us first," Percival said, opting to answer for Merlin.

Seconds after Percival finished, Arthur burst through the door like a mad man. As soon as his eyes lay on Merlin, he rushed over and hugged the life out of him.

"Merlin! Are you ok! What the hell happened! I had to hear from a maid about you! All she said was that my dollop-head of a husband was seen wandering down the hall, drenched in blood. Why the hell didn't you come to me first! What happened?" Arthur asked, while he raged and ranted on.

As soon as he was done, Percival spoke up and told Arthur what happened,

"I was walking down to get a book for myself to read when I heard Merlin scream. I quickly rushed down to see him covered in blood over Geoffrey' body. It looked like he had been hitting Geoffrey' chest. I rushed over and checked him over. As soon as he calmed down, Merlin insisted on going to Gaius first, then you. He wouldn't have it any other way. None of the blood is his. I don't know what happened before that, sire."

Arthur let out a sigh and stared down at his husband. To Arthur, he looked broken.

"Merlin, sweetheart. Can you tell me what happened?"

Merlin just shook his head and clung to Arthur like his life depended on it. It just about broke Arthur' heart.

"Alright. Gaius, bring the body back up here and I want a full examination done. I want to know what happened and what his exact cause of death was. Let me know when you are done. You may enlist the help of anyone you wish. I am taking Merlin back to our chambers to get him cleaned and put into bed, where he will rest. Percival, you may assist Gaius if you wish or inform whoever Gaius wishes for help from to come immediately. I want this kept a secret for now. Tell no one."

"Yes sire," Gaius and Percival said in unison.

Merlin was vaguely aware that Arthur had started to lead him away. His mind was in tatters. Guilt was worming its way through his system as well as rage and a strong fear of who was next on the list. Merlin had a feeling that it wasn't Geoffrey that Ward was talking about, when he said he would take from Merlin, that which was Merlin' whole world. Who he loved more than life itself. Geoffrey was loved by Merlin, but he wasn't who Merlin loved more than his own life. Merlin was brought out of his thoughts when he realized that he and Arthur had finally reached their chambers. Merlin wasn't sure if Arthur had been talking to him on the way up, but by the worried look on his face, he could guess that Arthur probably was.

"I've ordered a bath to be done, so in the meantime, how about we get rid of these bloodied clothes, huh?" Arthur said, his voice finally filtering through Merlin' haze as he led Merlin into the room, closing the door behind them.

"Ok," Merlin responded.

To be honest, Merlin wasn't sure how he was going to tell Arthur what happened. Merlin wished he could pretend like nothing was wrong and that Geoffrey was just reading his books or doing whatever it was that he did in his personal study, except he knew he couldn't. If he denied the truth, then he was denying reality and he couldn't afford to break down over this one death. He needed to accept it and move on so he could stop Ward and whatever insane scheme he was planning before he hurt anyone else.

Merlin must have been lost in thought again because he was brought back to the real world as he noticed Arthur was standing in front of him, slightly shaking his shoulders.

"Merlin. Merlin. Hey, you still with me. Stop thinking so much or you head's going to explode,' Arthur joked, though Merlin could tell Arthur was very worried about him.

"Wouldn't it just make your day if it did? But then who would be here to give you such amazing sex?" Merlin joked back.

Arthur just laughed out loud and shook his head. "Only you would say something like that right now, especially when naked."

Merlin looked at Arthur quizzically, before looking down at himself, only to realize Arthur was right and he was definitely naked. Arthur must have undressed him and he didn't even know.

"Oh man."

Arthur just laughed in response.

Merlin noticed a maid scurry in and out in a dash, only now realizing that she had filled a nice hot bath for them.

"For me?" Merlin mocked. "You shouldn't have."

Arthur just rolled his eyes and tossed Merlin over his shoulder.

Merlin yelped and yelled at Arthur to put him down.

"I don't think so," Arthur said.

Merlin was then thrown into the tub. Water sloshed over the edge a bit, but neither men seemed to care. Arthur then made a show of taking his clothes of and got in behind Merlin.

"Now let's get all of this blood off of you."

Merlin had almost forgotten that he was still covered in Geoffrey' blood. When he looked down, the water was almost completely red. It made his stomach churn.

"Alright, but be quick. I don't want to bath in blood any longer than I need to," Merlin said.

"Alright," Arthur agreed, quickly bathing Merlin.

As soon as Arthur was done, he got out to grab them both a towel. As Arthur was wrapping the towel around Merlin, Merlin asked, "Where's Kalia. The last I saw of her, the two of you were snuggling together on the bed?"

"Oh. She's with Gwen. As soon as I heard the news, I got her dressed and gave her to Gwen for a bit. I would have been there faster, but our daughter came first and I didn't want her to see you like this."

"Thank you Arthur. I think I would like her to sleep with us again tonight. Is that alright?" Merlin asked.

"Of course that's alright. Anything you want, Merlin."

Merlin smiled back in response and got his nightclothes on.

"I'll be right back. I'll bring Kalia for you and then I've got some work to do. I shouldn't be too long. Though it is still midday, so unlike you, I can't be lazy today," Arthur joked.

Merlin just smiled back, weakly in response. "Ok."

"Aright. Off to bed with you now and I'll be back with Kalia."

Merlin crawled back into bed, his eyes already starting to close. Merlin didn't realize how tired he was until now. Apparently the events of the morning had taken a lot out of him. Tomorrow, Merlin decided he would tell Arthur everything that happened in the morning. Today, he just wanted to forget what happened and let his burdens slip away. Even if it is only for a few hours.

Merlin was just starting to drift off when he heard Arthur open and close the door. A lump of a child was then placed in front of him and Merlin pulled her close.

"I'm sorry Papa. I wish you weren't sad," Kalia said.

"It's ok sweety, I'll be fine. How about we take a nice little nap. You don't have to worry about me," Merlin said, smiling down at his daughter.

"Then who will," Kalia replied, already drifted off to sleep.

"When did our little girl get so smart?" Merlin joked, looking up at Arthur.

"She probably got it from her idiot of a father."

Merlin grinned at Arthur before snuggling back into the pillow.

"Have a nice sleep. I love you," Arthur said, kissing Merlin on the forehead before doing the same to Kalia.

"I love you too," Merlin said, already drifting off into dreamland.

 **Spell words:**

 _ **agieman- the regard to heal cure**_

 _ **gelacnian- to heal cure**_

 _ **purhhaelan- to heal thoroughly**_

 **I was especially evil this week. Don't know what made me kill him or even add him to the story. Inspiration hit and I just went with the flow!**

 **Review if you like! You guys motivate me to get one done sooner! :p**


	12. Chapter 12

**Imma back! Another lovely chapter. Lots of Pendragon family time! Kinda dull compared to the others, but the next few will be very action-packed! Get ready!**

Arthur woke up yet again to find Merlin missing from the bed in the morning. He bolted upright, ready to storm through the castle to find him, when he realises Merlin is sitting at the table in the room staring off into space. There is breakfast on the table, from whatever servant brought it up. Arthur sees that they brought some for Kalia and himself as well. Merlin must have informed George of their situation beforehand.

Arthur slowly untangles himself from Kalia and gets up to wrap his arms around Merlin. As soon as Arthur touches him, Merlin startles and looks back at Arthur before relaxing. Arthur realized that Merlin had to have been very deep in thought, to have not heard, nor seen Arthur come up to him.

"Care to tell me what's on your mind, my love?" Arthur asks.

"I need to tell you what happened yesterday," Merlin says, in a monotone voice.

"You don't have to do this right now, you know."

"I know, but if I don't do it now, I probably won't do it at all," Merlin says.

Arthur nods his head and sits down quietly as Merlin recounts what happened in the library. By the end of the story, Merlin is sobbing and Arthur quickly gets up and encompasses Merlin in a hug, hushing and soothing him, as he would a child. Suddenly Arthur feels something trying to wiggle its way between him and Merlin. Merlin seems to have noticed to, as he pushes away from Arthur. They both look down to find Kalia standing there, trying to get into their hug.

"Let me hug too!" Kalia demands, pushing her way back in.

"She sure got your attitude Arthur. Always so demanding," Merlin jokes, a smile working its way onto his face.

"Ha, ha," Arthur sarcastically replies. "Very funny."

"I thought so," Merlin remarks.

"What so funny. What you talkin bout," Kalia asks.

"Oh nothing sweetie. Just come and give your Papa a BIG hug," Merlin says, picking Kalia up and hugging her tightly.

"Not too tight Papa."

"I don't think it's tight enough," Arthur says, throwing his arms around the two of them, making Kalia squeal in delight.

After Arthur was done with the hugging, he decided he needed to know why Merlin had gone down there in the first place. Merlin may have retold what had happened when he went down there, but he didn't say why he was there and Arthur was a little curious. He wants to help Merlin out with whatever has been troubling him these last few days.

"I'm sorry to bring this up, my love, but I want to know why you were going down there in the first place?"

"Oh..." Merlin says, pulling away from the hug. "Umm…well… you see..."

"Go on, "Arthur urges.

"I was down there because I figured there might be some books that could help me. I was looking for anything that would have information about a group of sorcerers called The Watchers. Ward mentioned the name to me and that he was the last of his kind, so I assumed he meant a group of magic users. That's the only thing I could think of, so I went down there to look at the books and hopefully find something. I didn't think I'd go down there to find him dying on the floor!" Merlin said, as a tear slipped down his cheek.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but why didn't you let me know about this. Don't you think I needed to know this? I could have helped you or at least been informed about a group of potentially dangerous sorcerers!" Arthur shouted.

"Don't shout at Papa, Daddy!" Kalia yelled.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I didn't mean to yell, but your Papa did a stupid thing."

"Stupid thing? What that mean?" Kalia asked.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Merlin gently told Kalia. "And the reason I didn't tell you, is because I didn't want you involved. This is something I thought I could handle on my own. You have plenty of other things to worry about, like your kingdom for example. You didn't need more on your plate, especially something as simple as this. I would have let you know if I found anything. You didn't need to worry," Merlin told Arthur.

"I know, but I do still worry. I want to help you. You've been through so much this month and I just don't like seeing you upset or hurt."

"I know you don't, but this isn't something you can protect me from, just like I can't protect you from everything either. As much as I try, it's just a part of life. You have to except it," Merlin huffed, crossing his arms, mindful of his daughter on his lap.

"I know, but I'm still going to help you. I've got nothing important to do today, so how about we go down to the library, grab a few books and bring them up here to read. Then we can hopefully find this bast…I mean guy and capture him. How's that sound?"

"Fine," Merlin said, with a resignated sigh.

"Me wanna help too," Kalia said.

"I don't know babygirl. This is grown-up stuff. Maybe you should go play with Mary in the kitchens?" Arthur suggested to his daughter.

"Don't wanna. Wanna help find watches."

"Watchers sweetheart. And I'll let you help me. You can sit on my lap while I read, ok?" Merlin said.

"Ok."

Arthur sighed, but got up anyways. He walked towards the door and opened it, letting Merlin and Kalia go through first. They walked down to the library, which Arthur had made sure would be clean, and walked over to the different shelves, looking at the spines of the books to find one he liked.

Merlin just chuckled as he watched Arthur start to look at the spines.

"You know I have a much easier and faster way to do this, right?"

"What? Then do it already. Why wouldn't you tell me this from the start?" Arthur asked, a little embarrassed.

"I don't know. It was kind of cute watching you look at the books. Plus you didn't give me time to tell you I had an easier way to find what we were looking for," Merlin giggled.

"Ugh! Just get on with it then."

Merlin just smiled and put Kalia down on the ground. He then closed his eyes, took a deep breath and whispered, " _ **Abeþecian."**_

At first Arthur wasn't sure anything had happened. He had seen the gold beneath Merlin' eye lids, but nothing around them seemed to have change. When Merlin opened them, his eyes were their normal blue colour.

"What was supposed to happen?"

"You'll see," Merlin cryptically said.

After a few seconds. Arthur was beginning to doubt Merlin' spell, when he noticed that some of the books around him were starting to move on their own. A few books from around the library were sliding forward and stopping just enough that the spines were all sticking out. After a minute, it seemed that the spell was done, as no more books were sliding forward anymore. Arthur walked up to the first one and found that it was indeed a magic book. He grabbed it and looked at the pages, realizing that it was all in the old religion and of course, Arthur couldn't read them.

"Are there any books here that I can actually read, or was this your plan all along? Knowing that I couldn't read them, so I wouldn't be able to help?"

"Of course not. I actually don't know which books my magic pulled. It just pulled the ones it thought I would be looking for. I'm sure there's some here that you can read. Let's just grab them all and drag them back to our rooms," Merlin said, grabbing some of the books from the shelves around him.

Even Kalia wanted to help, so she grabbed any books that were on the lowest shelves she could reach. She had 2 in her arms and Arthur noticed her trying to grab a third.

"Sweetheart. I think you have enough in your arms. Don't carry more than you can handle."

"Me can do this," Kalia huffed, continuing to reach for the book.

Arthur just sighed exasperated and let her do what she wanted. She'd just have to find out the hard way. Arthur saw Merlin also had his hands full, so he decided they should come back for more later, and was about to say so, when a loud thump was heard. Arthur turned to see his daughter on the ground with the 3 books she was trying to carry on the ground beside her.

"I told you so," Arthur said.

"I'm sawwy," Kalia said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh, it's ok sweety. You tried your best, just don't take so many books next time, ok," Merlin said, comforting his daughter.

Merlin had put his books down before bending down to help Kalia to her feet.

"How about you only carry the 2 books, ok?" Merlin said.

Kalia nodded and grabbed only two of the three books on the ground, while Merlin grabbed the third.

"I think all our hands our full, so let's go back to our rooms and we can come back for the last few later," Arthur suggested.

"That's ok, Arthur. Anything we can't carry, I'll just have my magic carry it behind us," Merlin said.

"Why couldn't you just do that in the first place!" Arthur grumbled.

"Where would the fun in that be? Plus, you could use the exercise," Merlin quipped.

"I'm not fat Merlin!"

"Sure you aren't," Merlin said, rolling his eyes and walking out of the room, books floating behind him.

Kalia was right on Merlin' heels as well. Arthur huffed as he exited. They only got a few strange looks as they walked back to their rooms, but aside from that, Arthur noticed nobody even gave them a second glance. Has this been such a regular occurrence that nobody even questions it anymore? I guess this is a splendid thing. A lot has changed since the legalization of magic and Arthur thinks that this right here is how it should be. No more rude comments or weird looks for the open use of magic. No more discrimination. Peace.

They finally reached, their chambers and Merlin opened the door with a flash of his eyes and waltzed into the room. He set the books in a few piles alongside the wall, far away from the fireplace and window. Arthur dropped his books off as well and then flopped down onto the bed. Merlin did the same on the other side, while Kalia full on jumped onto both of them.

"Argh!" They both moaned, while Kalia giggled on top of them.

Arthur sat up and said, "I guess we better get started on these books then."

"Right. I guess we should," Merlin said, picking Kalia up off of them.

Merlin stood up and put Kalia on the floor before walking over the stack of books and grabbing the first one off the top.

"You coming, or are you going to sit on your lazy arse all day long?" Merlin joked.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. I just love watching your arse instead," Arthur quipped back, grinning with a cheeky smile.

Merlin just stuck his tongue out and sat down on the window seat in the room. Kalia immediately ran towards him and Merlin opened his legs to make room for her to sit between them.

Arthur decided he should finally get up and help, so he made his way over to the books and searched through them until he finally found one that he could read. He walked towards his table and sat in the one of the chairs there, making sure he was facing Merlin, so he could keep an eye on him. Arthur wouldn't put it past him that Merlin would find something and hide it from him, so he was making sure he could look at Merlin' facial expressions to see if he found anything. Merlin was very expressive and it was easy to read him unless he prepared himself beforehand for the lie. In the moment, he was helpless.

I just hope that this doesn't tear apart my kingdom because Arthur wasn't sure if he was ready to face making the decision between his family and his kingdom. Somehow Arthur knew that this is what it was going to come to and he hoped that when it did, he didn't make the wrong decision or it might end up tearing him or his kingdom apart. Arthur hoped this would resolve itself soon, but somehow he knew it wouldn't be that easy. Nothing is ever easy for him and Merlin. He just hoped the consequences weren't catastrophic.

 **Spells:**

 ** _Abeþecian- to uncover, detect, find, hidden, discover_**

 **Love getting the reviews guys! Thanks for the favs and follows as well! It means a lot! XD**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


	13. Chapter 13

**So sorry I haven't updated in like FOREVER! Been busy and have no motivation. I'm hoping that this Christmas break I should be getting out more updates! Also sorry this is soo short. Next chapter should be much longer.**

"This is hopeless Merlin! We've been at this for hours and have found nothing," Arthur complained.

Arthur noticed Merlin didn't reply with a sassy remark and looked over to see that Merlin was deeply divulged in the book he was reading. Arthur took that as a sign that he might have found something. Arthur got up and walked over to Merlin, who still hadn't noticed him and gently removed Kalia from where she fell asleep on Merlin' lap and laid her in their bed. Arthur then stood behind Merlin and attempted to read over Merlin' shoulder, only to find that the words were all in the old religion, which of course, Arthur didn't know how to read. Arthur shoved Merlin' shoulder to get his attention, which in turn startled Merlin, causing him to drop the book and fall off of the window seat. Arthur just stared and laughed, while Merlin grumbled about something Arthur couldn't hear and picked himself off of the floor.

Arthur waited until Merlin sat himself back down on the seat with the book in hand before asking, "So what did you find? It's obviously something if you were that distracted by it."

Arthur watched as Merlin hesitated, before finally giving in. "I might have found something. It sounds a lot like what Ward can do, but I'm not 100% sure."

"Let's hear it then," Arthur said, taking a seat across from Merlin.

"It says here that there existed a special group of sorcerers. They had strong magic, but within that magic, was a very powerful and unusual ability. They were able to connect another sorcerer or someone who has a tiny spark of magic into their minds and force them to watch through the castors eyes. It is a very draining and exhausting kind of spell, but with enough training they were able to enhance it so they could keep a person trapped for however long they needed. It takes years for them to master though…"

"Is that what Ward did to you. He forced you to watch through his eyes? Why didn't you use your magic to break the spell? You're the most powerful warlock to exist," Arthur interrupted.

"Don't you think I tried? I fought against it, but my magic wouldn't work! He blocked me and I was powerless!" Merlin yelled, tears forming in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Merlin. I didn't mean to upset you. We're going to find him and kill him, so he can't hurt you ever again," Arthur said, wrapping Merlin in his arms.

After a couple minutes, Merlin finally calmed down, but refused to leave Arthur' arms.

"How about you tell me the rest of what you found?" Arthur asked.

"Ok," Merlin whispered, opening the book as he did. "It says that this group of sorcerers had a name. They called themselves 'The Watchers'. Which explains what Ward meant when he said to me 'We were of The Watchers'. They weren't a very malicious group, so I'm not sure why Ward is so comfortable with killing and torturing people without regret.

He said something about me and you killing an entire race of wizards. I think he meant the Watchers, but I don't remember killing any sorcerers, do you?"

Arthur started to think about it, when he remembered about 2 years ago there was a druid camp slaughter.

"Do you remember about 2 years ago, there was that druid camp slaughter?"

"Um, yeah. It was horrible. We couldn't save anybody," Merlin said, sadness in his voice.

"Maybe they weren't just druids. Maybe they were these Watchers. It was terrible what happened that day. We were just trying to stop the mercenaries, but they ended up using the druids as their shields and hostages. No matter how hard we tried to save them, they still ended up dead. Maybe Ward was the only survivor. He saw what looked to be us killing his family, but he doesn't know the real story. He just thinks he does," Arthur said.

"That still doesn't give him a right to kill people. Innocent people, who most definitely don't deserve to die."

"I know and we'll find him. Now that we know the truth, we can get him."

"But how? I'm useless against him. He can get to me whenever he likes and I'm powerless to stop him."

"Maybe we should see if there's a way to help protect you against these powers," Arthur suggested.

"I wish it was that easy, but I don't even know where to start looking."

"Well how about we take a break and I help _relieve_ some of that pressure you have?" Arthur said suggestively.

"Arthur! Kalia' right over there in our bed. We can't do that now!" Merlin hushed.

"The chambers next door are vacant. We can be quick."

Arthur watches Merlin hesitate and reaches over, running his hand slowly up Merlin' leg, landing on his crotch and gives him a squeeze. Merlin let's out a groan.

"Ugh! Fine! But hurry," Merlin whispers, giggling a little.

Arthur grabs Merlin and the two of them scurry out the door with devious smiles on their face.

As soon as Arthur' out the door with Merlin, he feels Merlin stumble. As Arthur rights Merlin, he notices Merlin' eyes glaze over a bit before he collapses to the floor.

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm very sorry for leaving you hanging on for so long. Especially with that cliffy. I've just had no motivation and my Christmas break was hectic. Now I've got school again and this semester is much harder than the first. I will try to get more out soon though. Remember that I am not giving up on this story, even if it takes me a bit to get the next chapter out!**

Merlin sensed it before it fully hit him. As soon as he and Arthur left their chambers, Merlin sensed someone tugging on his mind before he felt the magic wash over him, sweeping him along with it. Merlin knew immediately who was behind this as he had felt the exact same thing when Ward got to him before. Merlin could only hope no one else was going to get hurt as blackness overtook him.

The first thing Merlin noticed when he opened his eyes was that he was in the forest somewhere. He wants to look around but can't and only hopes that Ward will soon show him what he wants to show him. Merlin tries to reach for his magic, hoping it will work this time, but like last time, nothing happens. He feels it, but can't access it.

"Well, well. We meet again. Of course this time I have an even better event planned for you to watch!" Ward says.

"Whatever you' going to do, don't. I know about the Watchers. I know who they are and I'm sorry that they were all killed. Me and Arthur didn't kill them. We tried to help save them, but we were too late to arrive. We thought that we had lost you all. We didn't know that there was a survivor. I'm so sorry. Me and Arthur are both sorry. We live in regret everyday about what happened to the druids that day. If we could go back in time and redo it, we would, but we can't," Merlin pleaded.

"You're sorry. You're sorry! You don't get to be sorry Emrys! You and your king are responsible! You may not have killed them by hand, but you were the reason they all died in the first place! And now you're going to get another clue to the puzzle!" Ward threatened, laughing.

Merlin watched as Ward turned and walked toward a little girl who looked to be around 5, who was tied to a tree. She was blindfolded and gagged. Merlin could see tear tracks, stained down her face.

"What are you going to do with her Ward?" Merlin asked, afraid of the answer.

"Now that would be spoiling the surprise, now wouldn't it. Just watch."

Ward continued advancing toward the girl and bent down to her level. He then removed the blindfold from her head and proceeded to remove the gag as well. Once they were removed the little girl let out a loud scream.

"No! Don't hurt me! Stay away please! I want to go home! I want my mamma and papa!"

"Oh hush now. I'm just going to play a little game with you. You see we have a special guest watching right now and I have to continue to play my games with him. You're the key player in this one, so I need you to be at your very best for this," Ward said, sickeningly sweet.

"What are you going to do Ward?" Merlin asked.

"Just wait and see," Ward replied.

"Now I want you to tell me you name, how old you are and where you are from. I also would like to know if you have any siblings or not. Okay?" Ward asked the girl.

The little girl nodded in reply.

"Ok, good. You can start now," Ward said.

"M…my names Clara. I'm 5 y…years old. I'm a…an o…only child and I c…come from a v...village called Bernicia."

"Very good. Now I hope you remember this Merlin. It's going to be quite a _killer_ surprise," Ward laughed maniacally before moving towards Clara.

Clara let out a scream as Ward came towards her. Merlin watched as Ward pulled out a knife.

"Oh god. Please don't. Don't do this. Please let her go. It's me you want. You can have me, just let the poor girl go!" Merlin begged.

"Now, now Merlin. I'm not going to kill her," Ward said as he sliced the roped holding Clara to the tree.

"I'm just going to hunt her down like the animal she is and THEN I'll kill her. Slowly too, just like your mother."

"No!" Merlin roared, desperately trying to pull on his magic to aid him. Merlin did not want to watch Ward mutilate this innocent child.

"Get running girl, or I'm going to get you. I'm giving you a 10 second head start," Ward said.

Clara looked up, but still hadn't moved from the ground.

"1…2…3…4…5."

Clara then bolted up and began running for her life.

"6…7…8…9…10! Ready or not, here I come!" Ward yelled.

"Ward stop! You can't do this! Leave her alone!" Merlin screamed and cried out.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. How else are you going to figure out the last piece to my puzzle," Ward said cryptically.

Merlin watched as Ward began to walk through the forest, knife in hand. Merlin prayed the girl would be able to get away, but somehow he knew Ward would never let her get away from him. This had to all be planned out somehow or why else would Ward have brought Merlin along to watch, if his prey was just going to get away anyways? This was his game and Merlin was just another unsuspecting pawn in it.

"Boy is this ever exciting! I love hide and seek. I never fail to find my victims… I mean players. Hahaha!"

Merlin was forced to watch as Ward finally came into a clearing, where Clara was standing along the river bank, looking as if she was trying to make a decision. Merlin knew she was debating on whether to jump into the river or continue to run through the forest. She hadn't yet noticed Wards approach.

"Look out! Behind you!" Merlin screamed, hoping against hope that she would somehow hear him.

Ward continued to creep closer to the unsuspecting girl. Just as Ward was raising his knife, Clara finally turned around and screamed. She brought her arms up to defend herself as Ward's knife slashed down.

"Ahhh!" Clara screamed, as a deep gash was cut into her arm.

Clara then cradled her arm against her body and took off running, dodging Ward's swipes at her.

Ward chased after her, gaining on her fast. Clara then tripped on a tree root and fell to the ground, face first, allowing Ward to catch up to her.

Merlin could only watch in horror as Ward brought his knife down to make another slash. Clara's screams were seared into Merlin brain as Ward continued to slice away. Once Ward had covered Clara's body in cuts, from her head to her toes, he stepped away to allow Merlin to admire his work.

"It's a work of art isn't it?"

"I hate you! I'm going to kill you! You're going to die slowly and painfully, just like her when I'm through with you!" Merlin screamed.

"Now, now Emrys. She's not dead yet," Ward said.

"Just kill her. Put her out of her misery, Ward," Merlin pleaded, trying not to watch as the pool of blood around the girl began to grow.

"Now why would I do that? You're going to slowly watch as she breathes her last breath and the light leaves her eyes. And while she is slowly dying, I want you to think about who I'll be coming after next."

"I'm going to kill you before I let you hurt anyone else!"

"You're more than welcome to try Emrys. You're more than welcome…."

Merlin watched as Clara was drawing her final breathes, her eyes pleading with him to save her. Finally she took one last rattling breathe and then breathed no more.

"No! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Clara!" Merlin cried. "I'm so sorry. I will avenge you. I pray you find peace."

"Well, as much as I love your company Emrys, I do have other things to do. I hope you have enjoyed our time together and wish you well with your revenge. I do hope you can save your loved ones from me, but as you've seen today, I hold all the power. You are useless. Nothing you do will stop me, but good luck trying. I shall be going now…"

"No! Wait! You leave my family and friends alone!" Merlin shouted.

"Goodbye Emrys."

"No!" Merlin screamed as darkness once again consumed him.

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **...til next time**


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